Wednesday, April 16

Simple Problems

While up high on my indefinitely-single-but-thinks-he-knows-all-there-is-about-relationships perch, I'm often amused by how common it is for those coupling around me to have such simple problems in their relationships.

You know, things like caste or height getting in the way. Or wondering whether the fact that someone doesn't have Pakistani roots (no matter that they haven't ever been there). Or perhaps that they don't drive the right car, or live in the right postal code. Or maybe they were late for dinner one night or something. I'm sure you all have many examples of your own.

In my mind these things are pretty trivial and can all be resolved pretty easily if not ignored altogether. That's probably why I'm always amazed that there are relationships out there with these kind of problems because a) they're not really problems and so b) the couple don't really have any problems and further c) that they've somehow created all these themselves.

As is the case with anything I guess relationships can't be perfect and for those that are close to being one, the vacuum necessitates the creation of these trivialities. In this sense having small quibbles is good sign.

I've seen it all so easily get out of hand though so I guess it's all about keeping some sense of scale - to accept that you need to complain and dislike some things about your relationship with them in order to appreciate the rest of it, a kind of latent level of relationship problems that they all need to have in order to be a relationship in the first place.

On the flip side, I've also seen people who make it a point to avoid even these simple problems - so much so that they end up limiting their options altogether. Some even take it to the ultimate extreme and find themselves refusing to enter any relationship because of the inevitable (yet manageable) issues that could arise.

I say that these people are missing the point and paradoxically avoiding the very thing that they think they're looking for. Heck, perhaps those of us who are single shouldn't be mocking these simple problems at all, but instead should respect and then actively seek them out for ourselves?

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