Wednesday, September 15

Hey Babee... How You Doin'?

Picture the scene: A guy is walking down Oxford Street, on his way to Borders to grab a novel or somesuch. On his way he encounters a group of attractive ladies (as guys do on Oxford Street). A quick exchange occurs between him and one of the said group, y'know one of those brief moment in time things. Then it passes, the guy going on his way, the girl being pulled off by one of her girlfriends.

The guy wonders if he should've made a move. The girls discuss how cute that guy checking one of them out was. They all move on after five minutes. The day ends as it begun.

So what happened?

Well, fear. Of course they're both scared. Chicken. Yella'. And understandably so. The risk of rejection, looking like a fool, falling flat on your face or even offending your chosen subject is too much for some (and hey, I'll put my hands up here). And fair enough I reckon - no one really loses apart from those that don't take that chance. However now I'm going to claim that, generally, it's more the girl's fault than the guy's if they both end up going their own way. Please, let me explain.

Think about it. Women in general are in a much stronger position. Spammy's Fourth Rule of Women[1] says that the chances are a woman is probably too good for the guy which they're involved with - probably 'cos the guy had picked them rather than the other way around. Surely this means that they should be the ones picking in order to ensure that this doesn't happen? Add to that the fact that most men are desperate and easy - it's very unlikely that an approach by a girl will end in a flat rejection (as it would probably the other way around - and quite rightly too may I add).

Yes, that's right. Don't deny it - girls are much more likely not to respond to a random stranger than guys are. Hey, I don't blame you, we can be a scary bunch. Which takes me to the next reason: A guy making a move scares the bejesus out of a girl, scarring her for at least a month probably longer, making her look every thirty seconds over the same shoulder which that freak had tapped her on to initially gain her attention. Well okay, maybe a bit of an exaggeration, but the risk of this happening is still there for us. Women have very little ability to make a guy feel so insecure.

And then there are the signs. Listen carefully, ladies: If you think a guy is checking you out, the chances are that they are. If you don't think a guy is checking you out, the chances are that they, well, are. If you haven't even acknowledged that a guy exists, the chances are that he's checking you out. That's what we do, people. So yeh, there's no use in denying that you "didn't see something" that's implicitly and inherently always there. Conversely a girl merely coughing in our vicinity confuses us blokes. Which is probably the intention, you crafty people.

There are other reasons: Women tend to hunt in packs, and there's safety in numbers. Women also have a clearer intent - men on the other hand have no idea whether they want to just say a simple hello or in fact jump your bones.

So there you have it. It's a no brainer, really. So, for the sake of worldy happiness and joy, I humbly request each and every female reader (yes, all two of you) that next time a bloke catches your eye... Go say hi. Wave at him. Heck, ask him the damn time if that's all you can muster. But do something - it's the only safe logical course of action (unless you're related to me. Or any of my friends. Special rules apply to you lot - ask your dad if you want to know them). You'll be proving what we all know - that you are actually the stronger, braver sex after all.

But then women never have been the most rational of sexes. And that doesn't seem to be changing any time soon so the situation probably won't either despite what I've written today. Humph, perhaps I shoulda thought of that before I begun...

[1] All four rules should be coming to a blog entry near you. If I can ever be bothered to write them up, that is.

EDIT: The rules are now up here.

18 comments:

  1. LMAO!!!!! to this and the other blog entry! :-D

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  2. Why should a woman have to go over and say "hi" just because some random bloke eyeballs her? You're working on the assumption that we actually *care*.

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  3. Sorry Spammy but I beg to differ with well, err, all of this:

    "A guy making a move scares the bejesus out of a girl, scarring her for at least a month probably longer"

    Au contraire. As long as it's kept polite/friendly/flirty rather than creepy it's a nice ego boost for a girl.

    "I humbly request each and every female reader (yes, all two of you) that next time a bloke catches your eye... Go say hi. Wave at him"

    Ewww .... I think there's a natural order to these things. Man chase woman. Me Tarzan you Jane. Far be it from us to meddle with these forces.
    Besides, last person on earth I'd be interested in would be a girl who hits on random strangers in the street. Like Woody Allen says "I wouldn't want to be a member of any club which offered membership to someone like me".

    Then again, I kinda also wouldn't want a girl who'd fall for a guy trying to pick her up in the street even if that guy was me.

    Conversation I had with a friend of ours:
    "So where do I go to find a nice girl around here then?"
    "You don't. The nice girls stay at home"

    Thus ends my best excuse for being single.

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  4. mochano,


    >>>Au contraire. As long as it's kept polite/friendly/flirty rather than creepy it's a nice ego boost for a girl.

    i disagree.

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  5. lol.. spammy your rules are just so funny ;o)

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  6. I agree with Sofia, having some stranger approach you can be bloody scary. Especially if they look like Quasimote, which they always do.

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  7. Or just plain annoying. Specially when they're drunk and talk bollox, which invariably they are/do.

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  8. Whoah there!

    I said "polite/friendly/flirty"

    whereas you're talking about:

    "scary" "looks like Quasimote" "plain annoying" etc

    Two very different things!

    Does James Bond ever sidle up to some sweet young thing make some flirty comment and they're all "Ewww! Scary! Annoying!".

    Nope.

    It ain't what you do it's the way that you do it.

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  9. mochano,

    they might be two very different things and you might not believe this, but there are people who find flirty comments creepy(which leads to 'scary').


    ive noticed you dont get many James Bond's on the street. hmm only then i guess he'd be an exception to the above.

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  10. Ok, so our case in point, Spammy, he won't mind me saying he's no James Bond, but I can't believe that if he went and made a polite compliment to a girl in the street that she would find it anything but endearing.

    *Especially* cos he'd be all flustered and embarassed a la Hugh Grant 4 weddings.

    Spammy, trick is, make a really nice compliment and then excuse yourself to walk away, and so it's not like you're pestering her, you've just said something nice without being after something. Just ocasionally she's gonna shout after you, or else, if you see her again she'll definitely remember you.

    Girls, please tell me I'm not still being creepy.

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  11. Mochano, i saw you were struggling in giving Shak some advice, so ive come to your rescue.

    Firstly, i think our James Bond(humours great isnt it?) should concentrate on *smiling*. this wont be seen as creepy/scary or even flirty. just polite and friendly. something one would do if they saw a baby, fit/unfit guy/girl, middleaged or the elderly etc etc. if he begins to see the attractive ladies regularly, then he'll prolly know (yknow gut instinct and all) whether he should approach them or not - i.e if they smile back, and dont look like theyve been offended etc etc.

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  12. hey dude, Good luck with the Rishta...

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  13. Like Woody Allen says "I wouldn't want to be a member of any club which offered membership to someone like me".


    it was groucho marx who said that

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  14. sorry that correction was for mochano.

    ...oh and seeing as you asked mochano, yes you are a little creepy!

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  15. Lol I don't think I'd ever approach a dude - it's just not the way it's supposed to be done. That said, I don't think it's totally creepy if a stranger comes up to me - provided he does not act like a freak and just makes general conversation or something.

    Mochano, so nice girls don't have jobs, friends or lives? They stay at home? Lol, guess I'm not very nice by that definition. Where do u meet a nice guy then?

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  16. Hahah! Amazing insight into the world of non-relationships my friend! :D

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  17. Roshan21:16

    Agree with Mochano's original comment. Men should chase women, simple. Why? cos it means that the guy (despite being scared stiff of rejection) had the guts to go after what he wanted.

    If a guy sees a girl on the street, I agree, he should smile, wave, and if the move is reciprocated then make his way toward her. If she doesn't run for the hills it's a good sign, and she's probably has been waiting for him to finally DO something! I hate guys who just stare, and stare, and stare be they miles away or two feet away from you. It is incredibly annoying, and makes a girl feel dirty.

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