Thursday, September 18

Link of the Day Click for more info

Yes, it may be strange to have the same link recommended twice in a row, but it seems that the cheery guys at iwannagetmarried.com have a new webcast to promote. And this time it's aimed at men.

So why does that make a difference? Well I guess that it shouldn't really, and at first glance it's easy to be just as unforgiving as I was last week:

  • Is it permissible and advised to ask from our prospective proposals men or women if they are virgins?
  • How do you reconcile beauty and deen? Is she's not very good looking, then you won't want to be with her, but if she's not on her deen, same situation.
  • Is It permissible to use condoms (for a married couple)?
  • If you find a sister from a decent family and your parents don't have a problem with them but they don't wear hijab and are very liberal. Should I settle and see if I can change her?
  • How can one know that the girl will accept the "leadership" role of the husband if she is also working and possibly making more money than him?
  • If you were rejected once by a family, should you try to pursue again in the future?
  • How would a sister react if a brother approaches her modestly to ask her for her/her wali's contact info or phone number? I'm talking about a modest practicing brother, not one who would be all over her flirting with her to get her number. I mean how would a practicing sister view/respond to that? Would she actually give him the number, or would she find it weird/strange and try to avoid him?
  • How does one go about convincing his parents that he does not *wish* to marry a sister from back home?
But then some questions really grabbed my attention as being pretty relevant and perhaps even a bit interesting:
  • There is a sister whom I am interested in for marriage and I think she has the same feelings towards me. How do I confirm this without crossing any lines?
  • What if a man doesn't like children? He may still need his sexual needs met, but doesn't want children as he has no love for them. Can such a woman be found amongst Muslims?
  • How do you progress getting to 'know' a sister when you're not sure if you want to propose to her? You want to talk or interact with her to get a sense of who she is before you make any type of proposal that you might regret.
  • There are a lot of brothers that would like to propose to a sister, but have absolutely no idea on how to approach the halal way (or are super shy or scared of getting rejected). Can you please advise on what the permissible methods are?
Some of these questions I've even asked myself on these pages.

So is this a bit of a turnaround/backtrack? Well maybe. Okay fine, it definitely is: perhaps last week's webcast wasn't as inane as I thought it was? Perhaps a subset of the questions asked were as relevant to you girly types as some of the above is to me? And perhaps a lot of you find the questions I found interesting above just as obviously redundant and useless as the ones I had listed previously too. I guess not everyone would have found it all useful and perhaps that's okay. Apologies for my flippancy, then, to both the organisers and those who attended.

But will I attend this one? Well the whole Ramadan timetable makes it tough but even if I was free I'm not sure I would. See, despite accepting the validity of the questions themselves, I'm still not sure they are ones that can be generally answered in a simple webcast.

But then perhaps any answers, even the ones inapplicable to you, would be of massive help? Heck, perhaps just asking the questions in the first place would be facilitating too?

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