Saturday, October 7

The Plan

In college we all had our predictions for our lives ahead. We were teenagers and in our naivety had everything laid out and perfectly lined up in order, hoping to traipse through the whole lot as we got older. Amongst other things I had specifically the following (and yes, it's about that subject again); as long as everything went to plan, I was to:

  1. Meet and get to know the woman of my dreams at 24
  2. Marry her at 26
  3. Have a kid with her at 28
I had long discarded this plan, way before I had hit the age of 24. I had arrived in reality by then and realised, through the experiences of others, that things didn't really work that way. It always was a silly premise, but regardless of that the general theme of "avoiding women till I was ready" stuck. And thinking about it now, doing something like this is definitely typically me.

Despite throwing the above schedule out of the window before it had even begun, I do have to admit feeling a pang of disappointment on both my 24th and 26th birthdays, as I categorically failed each respective checkpoint. I did look on the positive though; it wasn't all bad since I could always catch up with the schedule. I'd just have to squeeze up on phases one and two a bit and I'd be back on track again. Easy.

However, as of 9am this morning, that possibility ceased to be the case. I am now officially and unequivocally overdue on all three counts and The Plan pretty much lies in tatters. Now, this isn't Yet Another Post About Shak Being Single (well ok, maybe it is a bit), but I do find it interesting how sometimes even the best laid plans go to pot.

In retrospect it was pretty foolish to create such a schedule in the first place, especially since it meant staying away from anything (or anybody?) that didn't figure in The Plan at the right time. I wouldn't say that I'm regretful now or that I had missed some very good opportunities, but there is a chance that things could have been different if I had held a different mindset for the past few years.

Still, as I have explained already, my confidence in this plan had been lost a long time ago and it's not like I'm feeling like a failure now or anything. But the funny thing is that, despite the above thoughts on the matter, I'm still going to go ahead and set an absolute age limit with respect to this particular matter. And furthermore, this time, I'm going to try and stick to it at whatever cost.

Some people just don't learn, I guess.


  1. Anonymous13:09

    Happy Birthday??

  2. 30 shak- just another 2 years, then im allll yours! mwahaha *cough*
    On a serious note- these plans are always a load of rubbish. In a way they are like expectations and when they are not met we are disappointed. Marriage is about rizq- Allah has planned it for us and it is not in our control. Sure finding or taking steps to look for a potential spouse is in our control but again it only happens if Allah wills!
    I hope the next year isnt a disappointment and you find someone who makes you happy and vice versa :-)

    Happy Birthday x

  3. Lol, i too had a schedule but it went the same way as did yours Shak. But am kinda glad that at age 26 am not married with 3 kids, that was a stooopid a idea anyway. Still though, like urself, do need to get crackin on with that whip on marriage!

    Anyway enjoy your birthday (and just to let u know i am lookin for a marriage partner too (move over zahera!) and my parents will give u 3 white horses and a life times worth of whole grain rice in return... jst have a think about it ;-), no pressure)

  4. HE'S MINE! get your mitts off woman! :-0
    *ppsst shak- say yes dammit, shes a fittie* ;-)

  5. We think our plans will empower us, but sometimes the plans we make harness us instead, conditioning us to attach our aspirations to arbitrary goals - when we reach them we feel great, and when we fail we feel awful.

    I wanted to get married at 24, and guess what, I did and boy was I happy with that. Today I am 16 years behind my schedules about marriage and kids, and have notched up a few achievements which were definitely below the line on my life plan. But you know what? I am happier now than I have been in years. I've thrown off the shackles of life target setting, and realised that I just have to achieve one, single thing at the end of the day. That is, to please Allah, and to use the faculties that Allah gave me to try, and try sincerely, in everything. Targets are bad but they also imply its all in our control - it just isn't! Its in God's hands ultimately.

    Plans represent the competitive nature in us and the desire to conform, to belong and to be accepted. I am not sure they are about us, but more about the people who see us, and define our environment. They can empower us to strive for more, but they can shackle our outlook by defining us and limiting our possibilities.

    Go out there and be a storming success, but don't let shak's plans shackle him!


  6. >>Go out there and be a storming success, but don't let shak's plans shackle him!

    er..MC, you should be on radio..(!)