Friday, February 27

Things That Pee Me Off #12(b): Self-Lolling

Now here's something that's so annoying that I'm having to write about it once again. This time however, I'd like to focus on a particular instance of this self-congratulatory behaviour, one which only really happens over text based media; that of self-lolling:

Them: Hello!
Me: Yo, wasuap?


Me: And that's why I think we should adjust our attitudes toward the rishta process.
Them: Actually I think it's 'cos you're so obviously gay! Haha! Looooooool! LMFAO!!
Me: Haha, you're so funn... Wait a minute, what?

You get the idea.

Just because at least one person is laughing hard (namely you), that in itself doesn't make something funny - no, that actually takes wit, relevance and (possibly) a little bit of thought. Likewise, if something is funny then other people will laugh at it. On their own. Without prompting. If you have to fill that role, then the chances are that your humour isn't as, well, accessible as you think it is.

Of course we shouldn't need other people to validate ourselves. And I'm not saying that you're not allowed to find yourself hilarious either (I certainly do myself). I just find it a bit over-compensatory to let other people know this, and perhaps a bit insecure. And in the worst case it could make something that would have been funny on its own, not (assuming you care that is): I mean if they didn't laugh then I probably would have (although I will say that the majority of the times it's as funny as the reaction suggests it is).

But let's assume it's not about being insecure, but that it just generally stems from bad manners. Call it e-bravery or cyberguts, but people generally don't lol at their own jokes in real life but find it acceptable to do so online. Add to that the fact that these jokes are usually at the expense of someone else and you end up with something pretty close to classic misanthropic cyberbullying.

What's really upsetting is that, in the online world anyway, it's the women who tend to self-lol the most. Check your Facebook and count which status messages end with a lol or a winky and you'll see what I'm talking about. This is pretty ironic seeing as it's the men who are usually accused of finding themselves funny but more than that it's a shame since it's also a pretty immodest thing to do. I guess modesty is another casualty in the struggle for independence, and as long as you're laughing it doesn't really matter about anyone else.

In conclusion then, whether you are genuinely funny or not, you don't have to prove that you at the very least think you are by self-lolling. Patting yourself on the back is never a good idea, so how about letting someone else do that instead? At the very least remember this much: that self-lolling doesn't make what you said kind, clever, acceptable or most importantly funny, what you actually said in the first place does.


  1. I agree with you, girls have the chronic "lol" problem more than guys.
    I think, it is a precautionary measure. By writing "lol" they are just letting you know that they were just joking, and didn't mean to be offensive. You could say that in the online world "lol" is the new "j/k". And, "ROFL" is the new "lol".
    You clearly missed the memo, Shak. LOL!

  2. Zany,

    I think that you could be right. The problem, however, is that laughing alone doesn't necessarily mean that you were joking, particularly in the context of a cuss where it's used to emphasise the insult instead. The same mean effect of laughing applies in real life too (think of a bullying scenario).

  3. :-( why do i feel like that whole post was about me! (and now you'll write a post sbout those who think the worl revolves around them- its a no win situation with you aint it)! :-D

  4. Jaffa Cake19:09