Wednesday, August 27

Shoes Glorious Shoes

Although many may question this, the public disclosing of my interest in ladies' shoes, it's not exactly a secret to many of you anyway; and hey, it's not like it's something I'm particularly ashamed of either.

I must admit that an eyebrow or two are raised by those women whose shoes I complement or comment on. Soon enough however this suspicion makes way for genuine appreciation of my interest and feedback, and many choose to ignore the possibility of me having a seriously unhealthy problem in the form of a shoe fetish. As well they should, of course.

Perhaps a post like this will encourage others to admit to their interest in the topic while simultaneously perhaps we can save those girls who just can't seem to get their footwear right from making further mistakes - I've spent many an evening shoe shopping with friends who respect my opinion in these matters. Well, kind of anyway. It's okay guys (you know who you are): no need to thank me.

As is the norm with ladies fashion, the biggest issue with shoes for the fairer sex is the dazzling array of choice on offer. Having said that, it's easy enough to discount whole lines based on their fundamental wrongness and after this has been done the decision making becomes a fair bit more manageable.

First up, chuck out the wedges. I've mentioned before how I just don't buy the argument about stability, and I realise that I'm still no structural engineer but I still don't. If you really want height, but can't manage a thin heel, then stick to a wide one.

On the other hand, shoes are so easy to get right too. Two words girls: Mary Janes. Mary Janes are always awesome, whether flat or heeled. And while we're on the subject of elevation most flats are automatically a brilliant pick too; although many use them for a height boost, heels are really only used to make legs look better and so if you're not wearing a skirt then they're not really relevant. That said, a decent pair of platforms (see here) would work, even if your calves aren't on show.

Another no-brainer is the wearing of boots. These alone have many subtypes and styles, but as long as you avoid anything that reminds you of a hooker you should be fine. Also bear in mind that they should be knee-high only - ankle high boots are a big no-no even if worn under trousers.

Open toes are very risky. Provided your dinky digits are up to the task, sandals and strappies can work, but it's up to you to be honest and objective about your own little piggies (and judging by what goes on out there many aren't honest at all). I really don't see the point in the half-way houses that are peep/peek toes so I wouldn't even bother with those.

Finally, and probably most importantly, always always always remember function over form. Trainers are better than dress shoes if you're happier in them: on the whole watching a lady struggle to walk while dislocating a toe (or three) isn't aesthetically pleasing no matter how fancy her shoes are. On the other hand, I reckon that allowing yourself to walk with confidence and comfort would do wonders for your well being, literally both inside and out.


  1. i've got a foot fetish - i am a sucker for pretty feet :\

    Peep toe shoes rock!

  2. You left out flip-flops!

  3. gotta love it!

    I suffer from shoe envy – where ladies wear shoes and sandals that I would love to.. but my ridiculously over-sensitive, loyal-to-Clarks, feet will not tolerate. It’s like they have a mind of their own!

  4. boots... it's all about boots!


  5. Osama,

    An unforgivable ommission. Sorry! I've updated the article.

  6. Osama: I think you may have unwittingly misread the title for Lingerie Sexy Lingerie.

    Anyway, enough comment spamming :) ciao.

  7. Anonymous14:25

    erm..i'm not gonna mention the fact that this post is, to say the least, a tad disturbing...but seriously platforms?? trainers all the way :)

  8. Anonymous00:57