Friday, March 23

Mr Nice Guy

It's becoming pretty clear that I've been a bit of a moron for the past... well, forever really. This may not be news to you (and even not to myself on some level), but it's becoming particularly irritating for me personally now as the internal and external effects become more noticeable.

So, in a classic example of self-involvement and analysis, as well as the greater good, I've decided to run a bit of an experiment. For the next four weeks or so, I'm going to be deliberately nice. I say four weeks, but of course I hope to keep it up as long as I can.

To help me do this I've formed a kind of mini-charter. Until Jummah of the 20th of April (which seems like such a long way away now!) I will endeavour to do the following:

  • I'm going to be nice. Literally and, potentially, sickeningly so. This may feel to me and appear to others pretty patronising, but I will stick to it since this point forms the basis of the charter.
  • I will not get angry, particularly over the little things.
  • I will smile more often, even when there's no one to smile to.
  • I will insulate others from my bad moods.
  • I will be reasonably accommodating and do things for others that may not be expected or required of me to do so; so hopefully there'll be no "Why should I?" feelings.
  • Until I learn to be more tactful, I will not be as "honest and open" or blunt.
  • I will articulate explicitly the things people need to hear, even if I think it's obvious that they know these things.
  • I will remain quiet when I have an opinion that others may not want to hear, no matter how genuine the opinion is.
  • I will offer sympathy when people have complaints, trivial or legitimate.
  • I will offer support when people need it to do something, trivial or legitimate.
  • I will not deliberately push the buttons of others.
  • I will drop trivial arguments if they look to spiral out of control.
  • I will be patient if I'm being misunderstood, and rephrase to get my point across.
  • I will quit lecturing, resist being holier than thou and superior.
Wow. That's a pretty long and ambitious list up there, which probably implies how much a change is needed. Of course this can all be done in a non-public fashion (in fact it probably should) but where's the fun in that? It's all here in writing for you to dangle over my head when I inevitably fail. And as self critical as the above seems it's actually quite selfish since a nicer me will also hopefully be a less stressed me too. It will be better for my mental health. Plus I should get a few sympathies to boot.

I guess my biggest fear is that I'll appear totally non-genuine and quite fake, since by definition I'll be acting somewhat out of character. And perhaps a natural Shak would be preferred over a more bleeped-out version - I'm already wondering what the hell I'm going to talk to people about. It'll be tough, but even if it is a bit of a fa├žade now, perhaps being nice is something you can get used to enough for it to become real too.

Oh and finally, a favour to you all. Please don't take too much advantage of any change you detect in me. It's going to be difficult as it is...

5 comments:

  1. Hi Shak

    I need to boroow your Wii and all your games. I'm doing a gameathon for charity...

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  2. *rubs hands in glee*

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  3. PS. I think you should number your rules to make it easier for us to reference which ones you're breaking at any one time.

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  4. Have none of you have any faith? Go Shak...and good luck.

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  5. I'll appear totally non-genuine and quite fake, since by definition I'll be acting somewhat out of character.

    creepy to some extent .. nice shak is all very well but it takes some getting used to!

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