Food: The Savoy River Restaurant

Possibly one of the fancier places I've been to in a while, the River Restaurant certainly starts to impress well before you even get there, the Savoy itself being pretty darned lush and decadent. Of course the service that comes with such a place is also of a high standard too, with all being immediately polite and accommodating - particularly since this was actually a surprise party of 12 people.

As usual we stuck to the set menu, myself going for the chicken and mango starter (the meat and chicken are halal), the salmon main and the apple tart dessert. If I'm totally honest I was only really taken with the dessert, with the other dishes being well under the par I had experienced in other hotel restaurants recently.

The disappointment in food made the bill of £37 per person even more of a sting - if I factor in character and service of the place I would call that a fair price, so I guess it's up to the individual to decide what they value in a restaurant. For me though I would say it's not really something I would choose to go to too often and doesn't quite get the same recommendation alternatives would.

Katie, Freed

I'm sure all of you would have heard the amazing, yet sadly unsurprising, news by now. Of course, I'm not the kind of guy to say "I told you sohttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif", so instead I shall link you to all my commentary on the whole saga:

28th April, 2005: I Have Straight(ish) Teeth Too

11th June, 2005: Link of the Day

6th January, 2006: Link(s) of The Day

13 December, 2007: Katie Holmes In No More Babies With Tom Shocker!

Being a mature gentleman, I am of course still able to express affection for dear Katie. Just so she knows. If she's reading.

City Circle: Ten Things You Should Know About Happiness

First of all: yikes! Has it really been that long since I last came to City Circle? Crazy stuff. Still, it was pretty poignant seeing the place again - some things had changed, a lot yet hadn't really.
But yes, seeing as my days as a pseudo-regular attendee are long gone, it took something a little more than the usual to grab my attention. And this was it: a talk on how to be happy, a topic I've covered a little here on this blog and elsewhere (in reality). I admit it: I didn't really come for guidance, but more for vindication.

Ajmal Masroor is a Cool Enough Dude. He's concise and accessible, although I wouldn't really call him "one of us" quite yet. A lot of what he says is common sense and he didn't really surprise today either, pretty much telling us all stuff we should have already known. In brief, here are those ten things:

1. Happiness is all around us already (or, be happy with your lot, there is always someone worse off).
2. Happiness is not found in material gain.
3. Happiness comes from within.
4. A content heart is vital to be happy.
5. A happy person is one of sound character.
6. A happy person shares their happiness, their wealth, their time.
7. Happiness stems from true and meaningful relationships.
8. Happiness is correlated with simplicity.
9. Happiness comes from serving others.
10. Those who celebrate life are happy.

I may have paraphrased a little but you get the picture. The talk was a good one and it was good to have attended.

I left the talk after Masroor was done, hoping to avoid the inevitable annoyance brought by an inane Q&A (see? I know how to be happy); it's a little depressing that the majority of people will miss the point of what was being said.

No, you don't have to point out the irony in that.

Food: Nabrasa

Ah but it should have been so much better. Go on, take a look at the website yourself. This was supposed to solve all of the problems we had with Cabana; a fully halal menu and an "all you can eat" pricing structure getting rid of all any fear of racking up a high bill.

But to be honest Nabrasa was all it claimed to be. The non meat buffet was pretty nice; varied and plentiful there was enough there alone to keep you busy - and indeed there is an option (albeit a pricey one) if you would want to stick to that. But no, we, and I'm guessing everyone else there, came for the meat on tap, the servers who come around with skewers to cut off all types of grilled meat straight into your plate as you ask for it.

The trouble is that the food wasn't that great. Out of the five types of skewer (the variety alone was kinda disappointing), I only really enjoyed the chicken wrapped in turkey bacon; the other meats proving to be a little too fatty and chewy for my liking. The thing is that the lack of quality didn't seem due to cost-cutting, but just a lack of cooking talent. As such, it wasn't the idea that was at fault here but the execution. For those of you interested the final bill came to 26 quid for the buffet and pricey mocktail.

So yes, as a novelty the place was pretty cool, but I don't think I'll be coming to eat here any time soon unless the quality of the food changes.

Film: Snow White and the Huntsman

I should have listened to my gut really. I mean, hey, I'm not the type to write off a film just because it has a certain actor in it (Salman Khan aside), but anything that had anything to do with Twilight (aka, those sorry excuses for movies) I should have known would be bad.

And Snow White was indeed bad. Choosing to go all "dark" and arty, it ends up being as dry as a bone, ironically soulless and just plain boring. The classic story doesn't even save the film; nothing much really happens in the movie and it feels like a big lump of middle with not much beginning or end to talk about.

Avoid.

Book: Holes, Louis Sachar

Sometimes there comes a book that makes it all seem so easy. Characterisation, plot, drama - Holes has it all, and all in under 240 pages of wonderful prose.

Stanley is a kid who, after being accused of the major crime of stealing a pair of trainers, gets sent to Camp Green Lake to do some time. The holes he and his co-inhabitants have to dig seem at first to be an exercise in character building, but it soon becomes apparent that there is more to their punishment than that. And it is on this mystery that the whole book is built.

Flashing between Stanley's present and his ancestral past, a tale is spun that was such a joy to read that I was a little upset when it ended. The bottom like is that if you claim to like books then you must read this. Recommended.

Food: The Montagu

Today's fancy dinner was at the five-star Hyatt Regency Hotel. The Montagu was certainly fancy from the start - the decor and service both being top notch before we even sat down to look at the menu.

As is the usual, we stuck to the set menu. However as the meat and chicken served there was all halal, we had more than the fish and veggie dishes to choose from. Nevertheless, I stuck to the razor clam and herb soup for my starter, the fish for the main and an apple tart for dessert. The starter was an easy win, adding to my increasingly growing taste for soups, while the dessert was generous. The main was a little dry and although wasn't bad was a little disappointing.

But a good time was had by all, proving once again that a restaurant is about slightly more than just the food. And at around £25 (via TopTable) for the three courses, a mocktail and sides shared between pairs there really wasn't any complaints about value either. Recommended.

Indexed

Ah, vindication:



While I have no doubt that seeing the world is an amazing thing to do, I do think that many of us take for granted how much we love home.

SMBC

Here's a new strip that I've started reading:



Proof that women don't appreciate what they have available, or that men are fickle scum? You decide. Either way I guess the lesson here is to expect someone who walks on coals for you to have, uh, leathery soles. Or something.

Film: Prometheus

Maybe I just didn't get it? Perhaps I should have seen the movie as an arthouse flick instead of science fiction? I dunno. All I know is that I didn't really enjoy this film that much. My only surprise is my surprise, since I got exactly what I expected after watching the trailer.

But let me try to remain objective here. The plot was pretty nonsensical (which was impressive considering how simple it was), the acting shabby, the direction poor and stuttery. There wasn't even a technical basis on which to watch this film.

I've already spent more words on this than I wanted to. Totally not recommended. In fact, I think I'll watch Alien over the weekend to get the taste of Prometheus out of my mouth.

Khalid and Rifat

I've long become desensitised to amazing things. For whatever reason over the past decade I've been lucky enough to meet a whole bunch of authors, politicians, entrepreneurs, PhDs, film directors - the list really goes on. But what makes my meetings invariably special is that I didn't meet these people as authors, politicians, entrepreneurs, PhDs or film directors, but as normal people. It's this normality that desensitised me to their achievements - not in a bad way but in a more inspiring one, because if normal people like these can achieve such great things, then surely the rest of us can too?

Anyway, opening waffle aside, Khalid is one of these inspiring people. It'll take me many fingers to list exactly how many pies he's had his in, but for me personally the most important must have been his involvement in establishing ICSS. I think the key characteristic I admire about Khalid is how unafraid of failure he is, or rather his ability to recognise that sometimes an effort is worth more than the result.

It was great to see him get hitched today, and I can't wait to see him out and about as a married. Inspiring once again for sure, and not least because of the constant reminders during his nuptials of how I was "next" in the group (even though I blatantly am not).

Wah! Wah! Girls

Oh look! Another British Bollywood play set in London! I think I must have seen at least ten of these in the past decade, and at the time of writing this review can't really remember enjoying any of them too much. So yes, colour me cynical as yet another one makes the scene - I still had to watch it of course.

But wait! What's this? Could it be that Wah Wah is actually pretty good? Well let's see: first of all, it was blindingly funny. This, coming from someone who doesn't think it's possible for brown people to raise any kind of laugh (except perhaps out of pity). Next up, the plot was actually quite good in a KISS way - there wasn't any self-hating of Asian culture (quite the opposite in fact) and none of the victim mentality (usually of a poor repressed girl) that is the staple of every Asian story that makes it to the west. I guess that makes it rather original then?

The music and choreography was brilliant and engaging, with the acting more than good enough and most certainly endearing (of which Sophiya Haque was a part of bringing this whole review full circle). Production values were good with everyone looking fab in their wardrobes with the stage coming a close second in terms of how it was dressed (I especially loved the huge "curtain screens" per location). Actually on that note, it was so refreshing to see "East London" finally translating to Leyton/Leytonstone/Walthamstow. Represent.

So yes. It may have taken ten years to finally find it, but Wah Wah Girls actually was an Asian play that I really really enjoyed. I'm still gushing a little just writing about it, so it kind of goes without saying exactly how thoroughly it gets a recommendation from me.

Food: Automat

We ended up in this American themed brasserie (no I don't know what that means either) after looking for a place that did decent fish and chips. That is, by total mistake. Still the fact that the chicken happened to be halal was a saving grace and so we stuck around anyway.

And it was a decent enough place I suppose. The food wasn't spectacular and very much on the bland side; certainly not worth the 18 quid we paid for it. The service and atmosphere made up for this in some sense though, the place packed for a Tuesday night in a town that's supposed to suffering from a recession.

Overall though one to skip.

Book: Out of Our Heads, Alva Noe

Some books make me feel something. Usually the book is fiction and that feeling is joy. In this case the book was non-fiction and the feeling was irritation. Since I'm too old and tired to write about a book I didn't really like that much, I'm just going to list a few adjectives that came to mind while I was reading it:

Laboured, offensive, confrontational, petty, semantic, vacuous, non-progressive.

If you're still bothered, Out of Our Heads is a discussion on what consciousness is, or rather what it is not - in particular how it's not something that resides inside the brain. Yes, exactly, zzz.

So no, not recommended then. Thankfully it was pretty short though.

Film: The Raid

First, what The Raid isn't. It's not deep. It's not intelligent. It's not got any kind of decent plot or story. It has no decent characters.

With that out of the way we can talk about what The Raid is. It's full of action. It's lightning quick. It's engaging. It's awesomely violent. And it's hella fun.

Although my high hopes for The Raid were dashed during the first 30 minutes, I did enjoy the film a lot. It wasn't exceptional and most certainly is not going to be a classic, but it does manage to hark back to an era when choreographed fighting scenes were awesome to watch.

Recommended, and definitely something I will have to catch again on DVD. In slow motion, perhaps.

History of the Ottomans

I distinctly remember the day I realised that The Ottomans were in fact Muslim. I was very young, and assumed to be Muslim was to live in a minority. It was a quality few people had, and something that made me different.

On being told this little fact, I suddently had so many questions. They ranged from "but weren't they the bad guys?" to "woah, you mean the Muslims had some kind of power?" to "you mean you can get non brown or Arab Muslims?". Looking back I realise exactly how naive I was.

But as one grows older, wiser and more cynical they learn not to blame themselves too much for being ignorance. My lack of awareness wasn't my fault, but that of an education system that had this pretty important part of world history almost clinically cut out of it. Compared to what I had known about Greek, Chinese, Persian and British empires at that age, I would even go on to say it was deliberately repressed.

But of course once you know there is knowledge out there you want there's no real excuse not to pursue it. Which finally brings me to this review or a two day course I attended this weekend with Ebrahim College, the title of which promised to fill me in on exactly what I wanted to know: The History of the Ottomans. Actually to be honest the main pulling point for me was that they were also showing the feature film Fatih 1453 about the conquering of Constantinople.

I generally tend to avoid the typically Islamic courses places like Ebrahim College tend to offer. They're not really my cup of tea (and I may write about my position on how we overuse prescription as a crutch and neglect introspection some other time), but I figured that this particular course would be academic enough for me to enjoy. I was right and wrong in this, but more about that in a bit.

On day one, the lecture topics were pretty varied, which is always a good thing, except when they don't really flow from one into another. For example I would have expected any history course to be laid out in some kind of chronological order with a flowing narrative, pretty much as if it's a story that's being told. Looking back at the programme outline, it is clear that this was attempted in this case, but in my opinion it was poorly executed and I found it all a little disconnected and muddled. Professor Mehmet Ipsirli was clearly knowledgeable about this stuff, but I'm not sure I took away much from his opening "Emergence of power: political, social and administrative structure" talk. Similarly Professor Alparslan Acikgenc's "Ottoman culture, Science and Philosophy" course was a bit over my head too.

To be fair this was more a matter of taste than anything else, me being more suited to structure and pointedness in talks. Nevertheless I felt that Professor Azmi Ozcan's "Caliphate institution of the Ottomans and Relationship with the other Muslim Countries" was a little vague in content, although I did love the clarity in how he explained how the caliphate was not religious but political. I don't even remember what Professor Ipsirli said in his second lecture "The institution of Rulership of the Ottomans and the Great Sultans".

But as time went on and more lecturers presented, I found the courses did become more structured and so easier to follow for me. Professor Acikgenc returned to tell us about "Islamic Education in the Ottoman Period", a talk which I thought was wonderful in its focus and literacy. It was interesting to hear about how education belonged to the community rather than the state during the early years of the empire. Unfortunately I don't think I got as much from Professor Ozcan's second lecture "The Causes of Decline" as I did from his first.

Of course it goes without saying that I was irritated by the audience. Although the course itself wasn't an Islamic Course in the typical sense, the crowd most certainly was, and we had all the lack of etiquette in the Q&As that followed each talk that we usually see during these things. Over-fawning, pontification, self-promotion and digression were the name of the game here and although the lecturers were polite enough to go along with it, I would have expected the various chairs from the college to keep things in control and moving a little more. In my opinion a lot of the value to be had in these talks is wasted simply because we don;t know how to ask pertinent questions in a concise manner. But hey, I guess that's why I avoid these things.

Day two was much better. A new presenter, Dr Salim Ayduz, gave two lectures: the first was on "Contributions of Ottoman Science and technology to Modern Civilisation" and then a more focussed "Muhammed II and the Siege of Constantinople". Both were excellently prepared and structured and I felt that I took a lot away from them and even the Q&As were decent. I was especially interested in hearing how Da Vinci and Copernicus may have each plagiarised Ottoman scholars, and how in contrast the same Ottoman scholars would credit their inspirations and refuse to accept that they had "invented" anything themselves. Dr Ayduz may be a little biased, but it was clear over the course of his two lectures that there was a certain honour in the way the Ottomans rolled.

The day ended with an extended panel Q&A which had some really good questions asked and answered. The film that I (and most other people there, it seems) had come to watch had actually been cancelled; Ebrahim College were denied the ability to cut certain scenes in order to make it acceptable for them to show. A bit of a shame then, except that I wasn't able to stay for personal reasons anyway.

Overall I would say that I don't think I got all I wanted from this course. Although I have a taste of some of the aspects of Ottoman culture I'm still missing the "bigger picture" of what went on during the period, and I'm not sure I'm even aware of some of the more interesting deeper aspects of the empire. And of course I still haven't seen Fatih either. That said, it has served as a launchpad into further independent study, albeit an inefficient one at two days long, and I hope to explore some of the themes that personally interested me at a later date.

Film: Town of Runners

I managed to catch this documentary about two Ethiopian runners striving to make it big in their sport, in a country where running is the only real alternative to education and marriage. If there was such a genre as sportploitation then this would probably fall under it, although that could just be my reaction to the gushing in the Q&A afterwards. Oh yes, the director was there too.

As a film it wasn't too bad though and in fact I did quite enjoy it. It's always interesting to see the rest of the training and livelihood beneath the tip of the iceberg we see at events like the Olympics, and I guess this journey is even more striking in a place like Ethiopia where, let's face it, making it big in a sport means a lot more than it does in most other places.

Technically the film was good, and I enjoyed the narrative that eventually emerged from the otherwise confused progress - if anything I thought the film fell a little short of its conclusion and wish that it went a little further on that.

Otherwise you can pretty much predict what happens in the film and how people will react to it (group tours to Bekoji anyone?). I probably wouldn't recommend going out of a way to watch this unless you already have an interest in the topic to feed.

My Name is Ahsan

The really scary thing is that I'm actually not writing this post freely. I was going to make some satirical remark about how I'm not really safe from extradition either (seeing as these pages are hosted in the USA), but then I asked myself "what if the US government don't find me funny?". The point here isn't about terrorism or even the concept of extradition itself, but the manner in which it can so easily be done by party that has no sovereignty over here. The US wouldn't have to make an argument that I wasn't being funny or sarcastic, their word and request would have been enough to get me a free flight across the pond to face trial - and that even though I had written this post at my home in London.

For those who don't know, that pretty much covers the situation that a few British citizens currently find themselves in. You may have already heard of Babar Ahmad, but there are others too, including Gary McKinnon and Talha Ahsan. Tonight was mainly about supporting these guys, raising awareness and creating some kind of actions afterwards.

It's actually quite shameful, not from a universal justice view (although yes, that too), but in terms of how easily the US managed to get into a position where it could violate citizens of another country so easily - even more so that that country is the UK. Where's the self respect?

The speakers today included Gareth Peirce, Bruce Kent, Victoria Brittain, Salma Yaqoob, David Bermingham and Riz Ahmed. For sure, I only knew of Riz, but judging by their presence and received reception the others were big names too. Some spoke objectively, some from a personal viewpoint, some were fun and exciting other were boring. All were passionate and compelling and even the cynicism and polemic I always have waiting for these kind of political movements was stemmed. It really is as straightforward as this: there is no way that this arrangement can ever be seen as fair or just even from a subjective or US-biased viewpoint.

Regardless of whether you care enough to do anything about this or not, I do request that you all reading at the very least privately acknowledge that this is wrong. And if not, then to please spend some time explaining why you hold that position.

Abstruse Goose

Make no mistake, this counts for brown Asian women too:



Pity us men please, thanks.

Book: A Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin

I like to think that I don't judge books by their covers. I give most things a go before actually judging them, and generally I go into a book with an open mind. I have to admit however that I was very surprised with how A Game of Thrones panned out, indicating that I did have some kind of preformed expectation of the book in this particular case.

I'm not too ashamed of this, if only because the surprise was so pleasant. The thickness of the book did not imply that it would be a chore to read, the plentiful characters did not imply that it lacked good characterisation and the immense background and universe that the book is set in did not imply that I would have to dredge through tons of descriptive text. In other words, this was no Lord of the Rings.

So yes, in a word A Game of Thrones is brilliantly accessible. I never once tired of what was going on and after getting used to it didn't lost my thread or pace in reading. Okay I admit that I did at first find the plentiful number of characters confusing (with names and nicknames adding to that confusion), but even that wasn't an issue a few chapters in.

A lot happens in this, the first volume of A Song of Ice and Fire, and yet it's clear that we're in it for the long haul - I can only imagine what else we have in store. It's a testament to the book that I want to jump straight into the next part, and I'm already excited with the idea of continuing on my journey through the Seven Kingdoms.

Film: Marvel Avengers Assemble

There are two types of people who went to see this film. The first are those who wanted to catch the biggest film of the year, the non-stop action superhero rollercoaster that everyone would be talking about at work/school the next day. The second group are those who went to see it because it was directed by Joss Whedon.

Since this is a movie review, I won't go into too much detail as to why Whedon is such a genius except to mention a single name: Buffy. Vastly underrated, it's about time he got high profile, and must admit I felt a little vindicated as I saw one of his films break all opening weekend box office records.

Of course the main fear was always going to be whether Whedon could resist any "creative pressures" being placed on him from above. And if I'm completely honest I would say that Avengers Assemble wasn't as Whedon as I wanted it to be - for a recent example of what that means, go watch Cabin in the Woods.

But I did laugh extremely out loud at three uniquely Whedonesque gags, yes, the ones that everyone else did too - who said Whedon was just for the culty geeks? Overall though, the first half was kinda bad, with the second half very much worth the wait. Oh and for those who care Ruffalo was much better than Norton. Oh and a special raised eyebrow goes to Pepper Potts' short shorts.

So yes. As hugely enjoyable as as it was, I have to admit that I was a little disappointed at the lack of total polish and genius I've come to expect from Whedon. That's not to say that the film isn't good - on the contrary, those in the first group will go away very satisfied - so it gets nothing less than a recommendation from me.

Meera Syal's Asian Comedy Night

First some full disclosure: I don't think brown people are funny. I think that Muslims are even less funny. Don't get me wrong, I personally know of exceptions (no, not you) like Aziz Ansari and the indefinitely missing Imran J.K., but in terms of those who "represent us" on the circuit I would say a dead pigeon has more humour.

So yes, needless to say I wasn't particularly enthused about tonight's showcase of Asian comedic talent. But since I like to support brown people and the BBC AN anyway, I thought that since I had the opportunity to go I should. Who knows, I might even get a little bit surprised.

Although the night was being hosted by Meera Syal, it was clear that she was not much more than a poster girl on the night. Tommy was more of a host than she was, and the whole faux laboured interview thing they kept doing did get a little tiring after a while. But still, they broke up the acts I guess.

Which brings us to, uh, the acts. Let's take them one by one.

Ah, Shazia Mirza. I don't think hate is the right word to describe how I feel toward her. Perhaps dislike? Obviously it's because she's a woman or something. That said I have to begrudgingly admit that she wasn't that bad tonight and although I didn't laugh at all her jokes some did make me genuinely laugh out loud.

Next up was Mickey Sharma. In a night like this there is always an act that will bomb and unfortunately for Mickey his was the one that did. It's a shame because he does actually seem like a funny guy, you know the type that would keep you amused during dinner... but I guess that just didn't translate this time.

Imran Yusuf was actually one of the reasons I decided to attend tonight. Friends who had seen and heard him promised me I was in for a treat, so I just had to witness him for myself if only to tell these same friends how bad their sense of humour was. And although his content was lacking and I guessed most of his jokes (I can't have been the only one to have played on the Kokni Muslim pun, and the whole English-Sport-Fan-Unless-It's-Cricket could have been seen a mile away), I have to say that his delivery and personality were spot on. Looking at his work on Youtube afterwards I will even say that he's brilliant, so I can only wonder why he was so muted on the stage. Perhaps the audience he was playing to had something to do with it - but more of that later.

Sami Shah was absolutely brilliant, and not just because he was a native Pakistani doing his act live over Skype from Bangkok. He hit that sweet spot of observational humour, delivery, self-deprecation and sophistication that all the other acts lacked in parts, and I will say that he alone salvaged the whole night for me. I'm such a fan that I'm even going to plug his blog, here: http://flavors.me/samishah. Perhaps it's just British Asians that aren't funny?

Even this sentence is too many words for the next act Asian Provocateur. "Help the Kensington poor"? Really?

Hyde Panesar came second to Mickey Sharma in terms of bombing, and it was equally a shame because he did seem quite funny. I can't really remember much of his act but I did laugh a few times.

And then we had Hamza Badman. Since you're on the internet already I won't bother giving you the background. I've personally never been impressed by his stuff, but judging by the reception he gets that makes me the failure, not him. Tonight didn't really change my opinion - he's definitely more style than substance - but the audience lapped him up and I can't knock him for that, since that would make me a hater.

Finally we had Kulvinder Ghir of GGM fame. I've never quite forgiven any of the GGM four for that show (and am always dismayed at how high we actually place it), but I do like Kulvinder et al as people and artists. Even though most of his act was lost on the audience I thought de did okay tonight, doing a bit of roleplay instead of straight stand up and we were even treated to a GGM rendition of Why This Kolaveri Di which was amusing for the first minute of the three it played for.

And finally we had the audience. Without wanting too much to sound like I hate my own kind they were as young and foolish as expected, ultimately showing how unsophisticated brown humour is. And thinking about it further, how Imran Yusuf in particular seems to be much funnier when playing a non-exclusively brown audience, I think I'm starting to understand why brown comics are how they are. It might just be because as a community we're not able to appreciate humour above a certain level and are instead perfectly happy repeatedly laughing at clingfilmed remote controls, curry-in-icecream-tubs and shallow and obvious satire. And if there's no demand for sophisticated Asian humour, why would anyone bother?

But still, I did go away encouraged by tonight and overall I had a pretty good time. I really want to see Imran Yusuf in a different context and really hope that I come across Sami Shah again. Hopefully by supporting the good we can get more of it out there eventually.

Food: HUNter 486

Before you ask, no I do not know the reasoning behind the mixed cased naming of the hotel which contains the restaurant we visited tonight. Still, any fear of tackiness quickly dissipated once we entered The Arch - this was actually a classy little boutique hotel.

But we were there to eat, not gawp, and we soon got down to business. Our intention was to stick to express (or set) menu, so we didn't spend too much time figuring out what we wanted. Despite our Muslim diet the choice was pretty decent: either a carrot and cardamom veloute (or soup) or crab and mackerel fish cake for starters, sea trout or fettuccini for mains and a chocolate shortbread for dessert. The six of us managed to hedge ourselves quite well and although I ordered the soup and fish myself, I did sample the other dishes too. And everything was pretty damned good.

Our chocolate shortcakes got substituted by a chocolate fondant dessert, a strange little pudding with a pipette sticking out, used to inject a passion fruit filling. It all sounds strange but the end result was well worth defying my self-placed chocolate ban over.

I have to note the service of the place - both our servers as well as the restaurant manager were pretty amazing, serving our every need and being polite and helpful while doing so. I was even given a room to pray in without anyone displaying any friction. It was one of those rare occasions where we were all more than happy to pay the recommended service charge (and then some).

The express menu cost £17.50 for the three courses (or £15 if you just wanted the two, which hardly seems like an option at all really). After service, drinks and some side dishes of fries and mash potatoes, our final bill came to a healthy £25 per head, but if I'm totally honest it was pretty much worth every penny.

Ishaq and Sanam

There's so many things that makes Ishaq a special guy, but I think top of the list is his humility. Where the rest of us are constantly vying to show how smart, clever and awesome we each are, Ishaq is the kind of guy who will help you convince everyone of those things. He'll laugh at your jokes even though he's funnier, thank you for your generosity even though he gives much more and be there to listen even though he's the one who needs the lending ear. So yes, all in all Ishaq is a pretty nice guy and one of the most patient, loyal and dependable people I know. I personally feel that I can learn a lot from him, and there's not many people I would say that about.

I never met Sanam before today, but I had heard a lot about her via Ishaq. Still even in that little time the way he's into her is clearly well-deserved, and I can't wait to get to know her better as time goes on.

Food: Flamin' Steak Grill

Oh look, another steak house! Of course I can't really comment on the quality of the steak itself being a burger man myself, but the food I did have was pretty good. Potato skins and chicken tenders, chilli burgers, steaks and mango lassis were all on our order, and all pretty well received too. Desserts were okay too, apart from my apple crumble - the server racing back after I had eaten a quarter of it to take it off my hands. Apparently the custard was off or something. Still top marks for service - the dessert was cancelled and complimentary ice cream served instead.

Decor has to be mentioned. Although the place was certainly swank, I have to say the semi circular half-booths were a bit difficult to sit around. Check out the pictures on their website to get an idea of what I mean.

For drinks, starters, mains and dessert we paid the princely sum of £18 per head (a fiver less for me since I went for a burger), which all things considering felt rather steep. Still as an option it's a fair one and I'm sure I'll be visiting again at some point in the future. Avoiding the desserts, of course.

Indexed

I think I'm going to make this my new motto in life:

I was going to tattoo this to my forehead, but then I realised I wouldn't be able to read it there.

Film: The Cabin in the Woods

Of course the real trick behind enjoying anything Whedon touches is to go in not knowing anything about it, and I would be doing you all a disservice by talking about this film too much. Whether you're a Buffy fan or not, Cabin gets a full recommendation from me.

Damien Hirst

Despite it no longer being fashionable to hate on good ol' Damien, I must stress that this visit was specifically made to point and laugh at all the other visitors who paid to get in, each pretending to "get" the pieces they were looking at. And laugh we all did.

Okay, that's a little harsh. Generally though I think it's better to knock something after you tried it, and now that I'm actually a little more informed at what Hirst has come out with over the years, I can with confidence say that it's all a little boring, wasteful and even a little gross.

I'm sure I actually enjoyed one or two pieces, but I'm damned if I can remember them. Either way I can't say I can particularly recommend the current collection being presented at the Tate Modern, although perhaps if you were checking out the rest of the awesome gallery you could spare a few moments for him. Oh but if you do, just be prepared to be laughed at.

Book: Against the Gods: The Remarkable Story of Risk, Peter L. Bernstein

Okay, I'll fess up - when I reached for this book off my uncle's shelf I did actually think it was about religion. I think that's reasonable considering the title and front cover, but I guess if I was really paying attention then the subtitle would have told me all I needed to know - that I was reading a book about risk, something I directly deal with on a day to day basis at work. Urgh.

Still, it turned out that it wasn't that bad a read despite that. Instead of focusing on the technical, Bernstein look sat the history and philosophy behind risk, chance and decision making, including all the human and subjective input into the age old field. As such this was more of a book about economics than technical maths, although that's probably not entirely correct either considering how the constant battle between the economists and mathematicians was brought up during the read.

But still as non technical and well written the book is, I did find it labouring a little toward the end. I think that was to be expected given the half-reference-half-prose style of it, but nevertheless I suppose that means this is a book more for those in search of specific information or answers rather than something to read randomly.

Happy April Fool's Day!

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