Saturday, June 28

Zubair and Charlotte

Even though it was only his brother, my oldest friend, whom I had gone to school with, I've become pretty familiar with the Khan family as a whole, mainly due to their welcoming home and arms open to outsiders. As such, I count Zubair amongst one of my closest friends; a core member of the Collective, a group of us who aren't mates because of school or work, but just because. He's another person who I'll talk to every day without fail, although that's mainly because he's as comfortable using Windows Live Messenger as I am. It was an honour to be an usher at his wedding.

In some ways we're pretty similar. We both have an irrational love for technology and computing, and researching the hell out of something on the Internet before making a purchasing decision on it. We are also very different - where I try to avoid change and the difficult situations they sometimes present at the cost of missing out altogether, Zubair seems to embrace them fully, and further get through them seemingly without even breaking a sweat.

For example, consider his marriage Charlotte this weekend. Without dwelling on the details too much I think that it's fair to say that the differences in their background and cultures did present problems, both within and without their relationship. Yet Zubair knew what he wanted, he knew what would make him happy, he dealt with the consequences and he has ended up better for it. Lesser men would and have taken another path, and when I say I supported him in this from the start it wasn't out of some lofty principle of universality or even friendly support, but purely because I knew he'd be able to make the right decision and handle it properly.

It also says a lot about his wife, Charlotte, that she's been able to come through this experience okay. Only a genuinely open mind like hers could handle a bunch like us, and if there have been any problems adjusting she certainly hasn't shown it. Pretty inside and out, it was made obvious to me where she got it all from - I had the pleasure of meeting her parents these last couple of days and am ashamed to say that I was taken aback with how welcoming and familiar they were with all of us from London.

For two people so "obviously" different, it's clear how perfectly suited to each other they are - to nick a theme from the minister's address, they show exactly how that it's not obvious similarities that make a couple work but rather the subtle differences. Although I seem to be going to a lot of weddings lately it's rarely the case that I find myself wanting what the bride and groom have like I did with them.

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