The Cave of Hira

I've had the good fortune to have visited the Cave of Hira a few times in the past. I remember it being quite the adventure, a fairly decent hike up a mountain to the inconspicuous space where The Prophet used to meditate and received his first revelation.

As expected, it's changed quite a bit now. The most striking is that we now have concrete steps heading all the way to the top of the mountain - something which makes the whole thing more accessible while also detracting from the sanctity of the place accordingly. The obvious correlation is that the place is much busier now. What hasn't changed I remember very clearly - the little shacks and drinks stalls at the peak always made me smile.

Approaches have adapted too: whereas before people may have visited for academic reasons, it now has become a place of worship for many, with some even going as far as to offer two units of prayer in the cave (qiblah direction notwithstanding). I imagine it not taking long for the authorities to clamp down on this by cordoning off the whole mountain. People are indeed why we can't have good things, but I suppose I should feel lucky to have seen it at all.

Oh and in other news, I dropped my phone at the cave's entrance.

Optimising The Haram

Or for my hipster readers: "Hacking the Kaaba".

The trick is to avoid the sheep and not be a passive pilgrim. A simple example of this is to pick the higher floors for salah - if a view is what you're after you're much more likely to have a good one from up there.

Secondly realise that the tawaf has plenty of short cuts and can be seen as being on a bit of a bell curve. Going in deep will slow down your pace but also reduce the distance travelled by a far large amount. Alternatively you can go wide and breeze around a longer track. It was the latter strategy that brought my tawaf down to 19 mins from the 35 yesterday.

This isn't about being clever, but about quality and opportunity. The easier and faster these things become, the more you can do them. I expect to get in at least a couple of tawafs a day now.

Ban This Now

Here's my list of things to ban from the Haram (I may settle with just the mataf):

1. Smartphones. This one is probably (hopefully?) obvious.
2. Prayer books. First because they're impractical and stop people from looking where they're supposed to, ie where they are going. And secondly because sometimes scripture defeats the point of why you're even there.
3. Groups larger than four. Crowds of this nature need to be fluid, not lumpy.

And people thought wahabism was extreme. Give me control of this place and I'll sort it right out.

The Great Unwashed

Now look, I know I can be a both bit of an elitist and anti-elitist sometimes. But that doesn't mean any observation of the masses can be totally rejected outright.

For instance I'm amazed at the behaviour of some of the pilgrims here. Breakfast is a sight to behold - I don't mind stockpiling as long as stuff is eaten, but it rarely is (and based on my conversations with some of the staff there is zero inclination to address this behaviour).

And the treatment of people is, for want of a more fitting word, pretty dire. I'm not just talking about mataf violence, but even simple manners towards people on the street or in service leaves much to be desired.

Muslims should really know better, but ironically I suspect this is the issue; once you've seen yourself as a member of a special club a sense of entitlement and immunity against any wrongdoing is pretty difficult to avoid.

Deceptively Busy

Our fear of heavy rush and busyness turned out to be pretty unfounded. We managed to find a decent, less travelled spot with a good view. That alone is a bit of a win since over half of every floor (including the roof) here has a wall that blocks any view of the mataf.

We came super early today but I feel we have room to optimise our timings.

The Kaaba Paradox

If any one thing demonstrates the dissonance amongst Muslims, it's the Kaaba.

For some it is simply a pile of man made bricks, continually maintained with hard work - albeit a symbol for something much bigger. It's aim is to unite and inspire.

For others it's a miraculous shrine, almost idol like, and is to be adored, rubbed and wept upon - just by being in its presence is one closer to god.

For others still, it's the background for a selfie due for some heavy duty WhatsApp sharing action.

Many paths of Islam or what?

An Ever Evolving Haram

Makkah has changed loads over the years. The pace of change is both speedy yet agonising: the clock tower was being built two trips ago now, and although the extension I first saw being constructed in my last trip appears to be finished I reckon there's a good year or two left before it's completely done.

Back in the Haram main we saw that the mataf has been (impossibly) extended, with the various floors of the doughnut shaped masjid now unrecognisable and routes throughout ever shifting.

The saddest part is that our spot for a decade, on the first floor just outside staircase 28, has gone now. This may seem inconsequential (it is) but it's more a sure sign that nothing really stays the same, even the most strongest of religious based symbols.

Umrah

Today we finally reclaimed our deferred Umrah. Most of the day was taken up travelling to Makkah, even though we felt we left as early as we could. We actually made it to the Haram a little before Esha, but various roadblocks and policemen made it impossible for us to reach our hotel in time to attend the jamat.

The Umrah itself wasn't the least painless, but went relatively well with only the tawaf being pretty slow due to ongoing construction work. This will probably be our only Umrah this trip (despite becoming popular in recent times we don't entertain the position of Masjid Ayesha as a meeqat, nor feel a compulsion to rack up the Umrahs), and so it does feel like a bit of a burden has been lifted.

Regarding the visiting Madinah vs Makkah first, I think I prefer our old way of doing things.

The Pervasiveness of Technology

Yes yes, technology is great. Its democratising, it grants those usually unable to do so the ability to communicate. It brings people together. Yada yada yada.

I do pray that eventually some kind of maturity will kick in and pilgrims will all leave their mobile phones Skypes and WhatsApps in the hotel room. The most high tech thing I have on me during jamaat visits in my trusty F-91W.

Oh actually no, perhaps it's actually my room key.

Weighing Scales

Another new observation: kids making money by offering to weigh you on their scales. I'm not sure I quite get it, but after watching them for five minutes they appeared to have good enough trade.

Optimisations

If there's one piece of advice that I can pass on to those unfamiliar with the two holy cities, it's not to be too hung up on the rituals. This is impossible advice to take of course, since religion is like that, especially if its a first or second visit.

Instead one should learn how to offer the janazah salaat since you'll be needing to do that almost 5 times a day.

Processes Do Work

Many criticise the Saudi authorities for being too heavy handed and directing when it comes to individual worship in the two holy cities. This of course is unfair: when dealing with the many people, the wishes of every individual can't be respected.

Personally I quite appreciate the processes - both because they are as a result of optimisation (read: justice), but also because it allows those who are willing to understand the process to take advantage. For example, although my father and I queued this morning for the Riadhul Jannah, once we got our turn we really did enjoy it to our fill. And once we understood the pattern of exit and entry phases for the shrine of the Prophet we were able to pay salutations to him at our leisure - a tip would be to avoid placing yourself along the barrier (as you'll quickly be rushed onward), but to simply stand a few feet across it in peace for pretty much as long as you want.

Unlike our experience during the free for all earlier this week, this was an absolute joy.

The Cure For Insanity

Today I figured out what I think is the only way I will be able to accept the incessant need for the unwashed masses to take photos of everything (either with or without themselves in the frame). Yes, that's right - photobombing is now officially a thing here in Madinah.

I figure I'll either annoy a lot of people or make a lot of new, but transient, friends. Either way it's the only thing keeping me sane while surrounded by such point-missing behaviour.

Buffet Breakfast: Jahil Defined

Hotel buffet breakfast really is an indictment on Islamic Society and culture. I won't be doing anyone favours (not least myself) by delving too deeply into the observations, but it really does demonstrate how little hope there is for us as an Ummah.

See also: filling up empty bottles with Zamzam.

The irony of course is how otherwise we all take care of our images. No one is dressed poorly, and everyone has the right jewellery and shiny phone. Well, except maybe for yours truly who as usual is dressed as a tramp... but the cognitive dissonance demonstrated by hotel staff after I speak to them is totally worth it.

The Valley of Jinn

So here's something I've not done before: visited the nearby Valley of Jinn.

Now I'm not sure of the significance of such an area, but on the way we did come across some "magnetic" hills that made our neutrally geared car roll UP THE HILL. Needless to say it was all a little silly if not a bit amusing (did I mention that we visited after Fajr?).

The actual valley was very... rocky. Erm. And yeh, that was about it really.

A Random But Predictable Bumping

For the last five trips or so to the Holy Cities, I've always bumped into friends whose visits I had no prior knowledge of. It's gotten to the point where I'm no longer surprised to recognise them, and even expect it to happen.

Today my father and I bumped into a fellow attendee of our local mosque back in London. Despite not being surprised, it was nice to see a familiar face and have someone to share the excitement and memories with.

Madinah Reminiscing

I recently wrote about how blessed I feel at having had the opportunity to visit these places of worship previously. That I first came over three decades ago is also a blessing, if only because I remember a time when access was total, security was low and crowds were non existent.

Two examples come to mind: for congregational prayers, we would be able to head to the mosque on hearing the adhaan, and getting the 3rd or perhaps the 4th row doing so. Coming ten minutes earlier would have gotten us a place on the first row. Now, if you come 20 mins before hand you might get a place in the first extension courtyard - you wouldn't even be allowed any further since the classic mosque space would have been fenced off by that time.

The second example is regarding paying salutations to the Prophet. We used to be able to casually do this as a family - and in family I'm including my mother. Now ladies will not be allowed less than 15 metres and a corner from the shrine, and that only during two phases in the day. And even if we leave aside the access for ladies, as a man it's not much easier: we tried visiting after Asr and it was a big mistake and almost pointless. Even if you manage to ignore those taking photos, the behaviour of the masses is just insane - if I'm feeling particularly uncharitable I would describe it as just jahilness. This isn't even a numbers thing really - Madinah is pretty dead on the whole outside the mosque. No, this is about behaviour and approach, things which seem to no longer have a place in these modern times.

Changes

I'm sure I'll be noticing more as my trip unfolds but the changes I've noticed here in Madinah after one day are already quite visible.

People are younger for a start, smaller, shorter. Photos have been taken for a few years now, but now we see video chats and live direct broadcasts of supplications to friends and families - the only redeeming feature is that most seem to own phones other than the Apple default. Silver linings eh?

There are also more people sleeping in the mosque - I can only think this is because they are living further and further away from the shrine and so it makes little sense to return to hotels between prayers.

An Old Hand

Quite embarrassingly I seem to have lost count of how many times I've visited Saudi for Umrah. I can definitely identify 6 trips (excluding hajj), but I suspect the number is actually 7, possibly 8. Whatever the actual number, it is definitely a blessing to have had the chance to go, even more so since such a young age (my first trip was when I was five or so).

As a result the cities are very familiar to us. I wouldn't call us pros, but we certainly have less of a hassle of a time while offering our pilgrimages. The geography is well known despite the ever accelerating change, and we can expertly navigate the two centres both physically and spiritually (ie we know where the nearest KFC is).

We also are more secure in our expressing of our feelings of being here. This means we don't need to take selfies every two minutes, and don't need to participate on the typical ziyarat tours others feel compelled to.

On the other hand, I suspect we have a reduced sense of awe, zeal and euphoria too - it's not as exciting for us as it clearly is for most of the people here (who would have come for the first and possibly last time in their lives).

On balance I prefer being a veteran - as I said, it's a blessing and I feel my relationship with Makkah and Madinah is quite mature now.

There's Always One

I really don't think my pessimism when faced by a group of Muslims is some kind of manifestation of self-hate. I've just seen our ability to fail at community and social etiquette so often that it's just safer to manage my expectations before they're proven correct. The higher the number of Muslims in one place, the higher the chance of being let down.

Today's demonstration was our plane having to re park and have police come on board, all because some douche in two white cloths didn't want to turn his phone off during taxi. All in all, our flight left an hour later than it should have. The great thing was that the festival nature due to us heading toward the holy land was more than enough to make us laugh about the whole thing. And for my family in particular, it made the otherwise four hour layover in Jeddah one hour shorter.

But yes still, Muslims innit?

A New Approach

The traditional Shaikh way of doing this trip would always be to travel to Makkah first. I guess it's the normal approach for a family who likes to get the hard work out of the way first - Makkah is seen by many as the crowded, busy, intense phase of any visit to the two cities, while in contrast Madinah is peaceful and easy going. I'm not sure where we got the idea of trying Madinah first but here we are travelling directly there.

The benefits have already materialised: the main one being not having to don an ihram on the plane. The stress saving alone might be worth the change.

Otherwise the trip will be a vanilla ten day tour, split between the two great cities in order to offer a Jummah in each. As is becoming our preference, we stuck to the part-DIY approach, where we research and book our own hotels directly. Not only does this allow us to exercise more choice in accommodation, it's also cheaper and allows us to have a direct relationship with our hosts. There'll be no nightmare room changes for us this way.

Film: Zootropolis

The obvious things first: Zootropolis is a solid film. It's fun to watch, the characters are endearing, the plot sophisticated enough for the adults but accessible enough for the kids. The visuals are lovely and overall the film presents a neat little package which really doesn't have much that needs improving upon. You should all go watch it for all the usual reasons you should watch a Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks joint.

Digging a little further however and we find much more; the plot isn't just sophisticated... it's also topical, of substantial depth and full of moral dilemmas and guidance. Compared to the usual lessons presented - you know, that it's okay to grow up, that friendship is great, or that bravery comes from within, etc etc - Zootropolis is almost multidimensional in how it handles issues of prejudice, victimisation and politics of hate.

That alone makes this film more special than its peers. Definitely recommended.

Food: Hoppers

I really wanted to hate this place. Any restaurant that makes me queue up automatically gets demoted, although once we actually got in I was less upset - the place is positively tiny. I think there must have been 40 covers maximum, including those squeezed in at the bar and window benches. Okay, so maybe queuing up was necessary. Doubts continued to linger though - despite having visited the place I'm no expert on Sri Lankan cuisine... and at first glance the menu did seem a little ordinary. Dosas are cute, but plentiful here in London, and my immediate thought was "oh man, I hope this isn't just another hipster gimmick joint".

Any remaining fears I had evaporated when the food came. It was good. Really good. We ordered a decent enough spread of mutton rolls, dosas and meat and fish curries (the chicken and lamb here being halal), and everything was spot on. It tasted good, weighed in well, looked great... it was almost as perfect a meal as one could have, which is quite a statement. Everything else fell in line too, with the excellent service and perfect buzz.

And we didn't even have to pay for this quality - £15 ensured that everyone was well fed with a variety of food. Hoppers really is a gem and is very much worth a try (you know, despite the queuing part).

Book: Crossroads Of Twilight, Robert Jordan

The big one-oh (year of release, 2003) and quite frankly I was disappointed. I think this volume was always going to fall short, not least because a large part of it happens simultaneously with book nine which gave the impression that not much plot had progressed by the end of it. Which of course is silly; lots did happen, but I guess someone like me needs things to be overt and explicit to be appreciated. It's hard to write about what was essentially filler, yet I am excited to move on to the next parts; if anything it feels like the middle of the epic is winding up so the promise of a thrilling final few volumes is there - there are only four left; five if you count the prequel which according to the publication order is what I'm to read next.

Dirty Pakistani Lingerie

Apparently Aizzah Fatima was so frustrated with the lack of diversity and imagination behind Muslim characters, that she came up with Dirty Pakistani Lingerie, a one woman play apparently about what it's really like to be a Pakistani Muslim Woman these days. It's ironic then that we end up with a bunch of stereotypical stories which demonstrated anything but imagination. So yes, once again we saw the Pakistani (in this particular case - it may have been Bangladeshi elsewhere) women who are surrounded by loser guys. Oh yes, and the ones who are always being rejected on the marriage market due to their ages and skin colour. Oh and let's not forget the ones who have "broken free" and taken charge of their sexuality. Such heroism.

If I'm feeling charitable, I'd say that the play only lacked novelty in a London theatre - angry brown women have had platforms here for the past decade and have used them relentlessly. Maybe this is just fatigue talking. The fact is though that there was nothing really new here and no new ground trodden - perhaps in the USA this stuff still feels fresh.

Aizzah Fatima as an actress was okay, and the production okay. There were some funny moments. But really, for those of you who had missed this (it was only playing the one night in Ilford) you didn't miss much. There was a Q&A with Fatima and her producer after the show but I chose to have Nando's instead - the theme for the evening was the treading on well worn cliches after all.

Virtually Dead

I spent this morning training to fight zombies. To be honest I went into the session blind, not knowing anything about what was to happen, except that there would be a virtual reality session with the newly released HTC Vive... which to be honest was the reason we had even booked in the first place.

The morning was actually a mixture of theatre, live action and practical jokes, and overall it was pretty fun. It wasn't the scariest thing in the world, but it had some cool moments... most involving zombies who had escaped confinement.

Despite only having spent a disappointing five minutes or so with the aforementioned virtual reality headset, that also was quite impressive to play with. I was ready to claim it a total failure, but it was responsive and engaging enough to be quite effective, and the addition of dual hand held stick thingies made the whole thing even better (we were shooting virtual zombies in the head). It remains to be seen whether or not it's worth £800 plus a decently spec'd PC of course.

The tour ends on the 3rd of April and looks to be fully booked, but I'm guessing there'll be more of the same popping up in other parts of London, so keep an eye out. For £30 I can think of worse ways of spending a Saturday morning.

Film: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

I'll take the strange approach of starting with my conclusion - I actually rather liked BvS. I went in relatively blind and not already having decided it was going to suck, although I did detect the growing post release hate the movie was getting. I may have had slightly low expectations, but as someone who doesn't believe in the whole "it will be bad if you look forward to it" theory I don't think that mattered much. So yes, I think I genuinely enjoyed the film.

I won't bother mentioning things like acting or plot (both sufficed). The action was good, the fun factor surprising given the dark theme chosen for the DCEU, and the superheroics... well, super heroic. There just wasn't much to complain about.

All in all, you'll probably already know whether you'll like BvS or not. From me however it gets a recommendation and I'll even go as far as to say I'm excited for the DCEU movies to come.

Film: 10 Cloverfield Lane

Well is it a sequel or isn't it? The producers of 10 Cloverfield Lane were very careful in not telling us, and neither will I. I will say that answering this question does add to the enjoyment of the film - it's something meta that adds to the general psychological thrill of the whole thing.

Three actors stuck in a bunker is always going to be a petri dish for fun, but 10CL could have been much worse than it is. This partly comes down to the acting: Goodman is creepy and Winstead heroic, but the plot and direction all lend themselves to the whole jolly good romp too.

If there's one thing to complain about it's that the pacing is a little off part way through the film, but since it's so short anyway that's really no big deal. All in all a hearty recommendation from me.

Rebel Muzik

Am I really writing this post? I have to say it seems pretty surreal - after all it's been over six years since the last Rebel Muzik and most regular attendees had made their peace with its transiency: in fact that was almost what made it all so so good. I didn't even really believe that it was back at first: perhaps some hipster upstart was trying to be original or something... after all it was being hosted at the Rich Mix. They were even selling tickets in advance for heaven's sake.

But no, it turns out that this was the Rebel Muzik we all knew and loved... and yet it was also very different. The new location was the most visible difference, with the more grand stage and space losing some of the intimacy you'd have found way back in the Inn On The Green. Most of the old faces we all knew and loved were there, but joined with a more fresh crowd - a show of hands put us who had previously attended Rebel in a clear minority. The stalls were more elaborate and varied - but it was criminal to have no halal chicken pies. So yes, different but the same.

But it was the performances that immediately threw us back to the old times. The proceedings opened up with a screening of Hip Hop Hijabis, a mini documentary that provided an insight into the life of Poetic Pilgrimage. This was followed by the open mic, which as always both impressed (with the sheer talent of this so called amateurs) and depressed (with the realisation of exactly how talentless I am myself).

And then it was the featured artists.

First up was the both-inside-and-out-beautiful Rukeia who blew us away with her acoustic soul haunting sound. We were then treated to some classic yet still relevant spoken word courtesy of Amen Noir. Amen was followed by a set by Poetic Pilgrimage themselves (accompanied by the adhoc band "Soul Brothers", because, well, that's how Rebel Muzik rolls) which as always was worth the entry fee alone - and this was when I finally accepted that Rebel Muzik was back. I'm grinning just writing about them.

The evening was rounded up by the most wonderful Son of Ee whose effortless performance honestly left me wondering how the heck talent shows like the X-Factor even exist. Liza Garza was up next for some more spoken word and then finally we (well, those of us who remained anyway - the Rebel Muzik crowd obviously need warming up before the next event) were treated to a few hip hop tracks by Shay D.

All in all it was a brilliant night out, in vibe and effect if not scope and exposure. To be frank in a landscape of pretty safe and totally unradical (DYSWIDT?) corporate sponsored cultural roadshows it's equally refreshing and vital to have a deeper level of conversation when it comes to the almost hijacked and agenda laden topics of Islam, the environment, spirituality and social commentary. I'm so glad that Rebel Muzik is back and I look forward to all the shows, support and engagement to come.

Film: London Has Fallen

First we were excited: a sequel to the best White-House-gets-taken film of the past five years (just about mind, I liked White House Down too). Then we were disappointed: London Has Fallen hadn't reviewed that well - it was so bad that we decided not to give it a go at all. Then the twist: we ended up watching it since we didn't have any other options. And then finally: I actually quite enjoyed it.

I'm not sure why to be honest: perhaps it was the lack of expectations, or maybe it was fun seeing London play a big part in the film. The ensemble were just as good as before, but I guess the plot could have had more meat on it, but this was always going to be a jock of a film really. The action wasn't too shabby, with one sweeping continuous-but-not-really shot was quite fun to watch.

I don't think I would actually recommend it mind; I just don't feel like I had wasted my time watching it. One for a home viewing then perhaps.