Sunday, November 29

Things That Pee Me Off #4: Literary Hypocrisy

  • If a guy offers a girl his coat or scarf, then he's patronising or, even worse, only after one thing.
  • If a guy walks or drives a girl (friend or otherwise) home, right up to her door and waits till she gets in, then he's a creepy stalker.
  • If a guy insists on paying, then he's controlling and repressive.
  • If a guy looks ahead while walking with a girl, or makes sure he walks on her roadside or between her and a rowdy crowd of people, or behind her while climbing up stairs and in front of her while climbing down, then he's obstructive and irritating.
  • If a guy wants to make a girl his main focus, much more than any job or social life, then he's misguided and unambitious.
  • If a guy shows an interest in what a girl likes and wants, then he's either faking it or is too boring to have his own interests.
  • If a guy wants to spend all his free time with a girl, then he's clingy and suffocating.
  • If a guy wants to just talk, then he talks too much.
  • If a guy shows genuine concern about a girl's well-being, then he's over-protective or under-estimating.
  • If a guy says how he feels then he's a metrosexual and unmanly.
All this, unless the guy has a marble-like chest which glitters in the sun and lists blood as his all time favourite beverage.

You all know I'm right.