North Pakistan, Day Five: Hello China!

Today we headed north. Of course, we've always pretty much been heading north so on the face of it there's not much new here. The thing is, today we're heading as north as we can without leaving the country. As a result this is as far as we're going to go this trip.

On the way to the China border we stopped off at Lake Attabad to hear the story of the flooding of Gilmet and the rebuilding of the Karakoram Highway.

The rest of the journey was pleasant, yet varied. We stopped off at Khyber to eat apricots off the tree, and were fed some amazing rice when stopping off at a police checkpoint for the bathroom. It was another example of the continued hospitality we received on our trip - many conversations were essentially "Salaam, wasalaam, chai?" and it was endearing to experience.

We also spotted Ibex and Yak as our altitude increased.

It was around 1pm that we made it to Kunjareb Pass and beyond that, China. As an islander I've previously talked about my fascination with land borders, and this one was no different even though it was accentuated with, well, a mountain range.

Alas borders, natural or not, are a reason to change direction... and so the backtrack began. We passed back through Sost for a Yak lunch, and grabbed some Apricot cake at Passu.

Our final stop was to visit the Hussaini Bridge - ultimately just another rope bridge but the sunset we had while there was worth the stop.

North Pakistan, Day Four: The Two Forts

We left Gilgit at a leisurely 10am under a surprisingly strong sun. Most of our driving time would be through the Nagar Valley, the start of which was marked by a visit to a woodcrafter in Jaglot (confusingly not the Jaglot we offered Jummah in yesterday).

After lunch we continued on to Hunza Valley, passing though Allahabad on the way. It was en route that we finally got to see our first glimpse of the 7.8km tall Rakaposhi.

Our first real sight was in Altit for its fort. This building was impressive enough, but it was also our first contact with local ethnic people who weren't your typical Punjabi that one would typically find in this region. Their Sheena language was almost musical.

Interestingly this was the first time we had encountered white tourists. Thinking about it I don't think I've ever met a white person in Pakistan, but its a testament to both how accessible the area has become, and how exotically it's now viewed, that Western tourism is now becoming visibly commonplace here.

We then headed to Karimabad for the Baltit Fort, and if I thought I had already witnessed the peak of the tourism in this area, Baltit proved me wrong. The fort itself was okay; larger than Altit but the latter was nicer in multiple way. Sunset was spent at Duiker, otherwise known as the Eagle's Nest, and we treated ourselves to some local walnut cake after dinner.

North Pakistan, Day Three: Passing The Heights

So much for sleeping well. Full body aches ensured a rough night. So an update to yesterday's conclusion then: both Siri Paye and Saif-ul-Mulk were ones to skip.

Given the above context, it wasn't a surprise that we needed an early start today, the day of Jummah. We made Batakundi by 8am, Lulusar Lake by 9.15am and made it over Babusar Top by 10am. This hit an altitude of 4km which we all felt after climbing even the most simple of stairs.

As we descended back to 2km the heat was also rising. From 14c at the top to 36c at the bottom it was fascinating to watch how the climate changed.

We were now following the River Indus, driving along the Karakoram Highway to just touch the edge of Chilas. We stopped to see some Bhuddist carvings at around 11.40am, and made it to Jaglot for Jummah at around 1pm.

We also stopped to see the confluence of the Rivers Indus and Gilgit, which is also where one can see the three mountain ranges of Hindu Kush, Karakoram and Himilaya. It was a significant stop, in weight if not physicality.

Our final stop was Gilgit proper, where we treated ourselves to Kashgari Pulao. On the way to our hotel we stopped for a quick look at the Kargah Buddha and Gilgit Bazaar.

North Pakistan, Day Two: Jeeping Along The Mountain Roads

For our first real excursion we left the Prado behind and took a bumpy Jeep ride up to an altitude of 3km to visit Siri Paye. It was nice once we got up there, but debatable if the journey was worth it overall, especially since we had to make the same journey back down to Shogran at the end.

We then hit the road to Naran, stopping in Kaghan for another food highlight, this time some chapli kebabs. We generally avoid street food in Karachi, so this was truly us embracing the tourist trail.

A surprise awaited us at Naran: another Jeep ride up to Saif-ul-Mulk, for the mountain lake there. Although a highlight in many itineraries before ours, for us the visit was merely "okay". I tried to compensate by going off on my own hike but slightly over did it (let's just say a horse might have been sent for me), so all in all today was a bit of a bust.

On the other hand I will sleep well tonight.

North Pakistan, Day One: Hitting The Road, Running

Ah, Islamabad. The last time I visited this city was way back in 1990 - although contrasting then and now in my mind didn't really highlight any difference. It was the first time that I discovered that Pakistan was more than Karachi, and it was possible to have clean streets and low(ish) crime in this subcontinent country. A naive view would be to say that people actually gave a poo here, but dig a little deeper and there are real reasons for the contrast.

Not that we had much time to do a more through analysis; from the airport we made a beeline to Shogran, where we were going to spend our first night.

We stopped in Abbotobad for lunch. This town was still clean, and perhaps even more affluent than Karachi, although in many ways that just emphasised the rich-poor divide up and down the country. Oddly I saw no women anywhere and was surprised when we were asked to use the family room for our mixed group of 4 people, where we had quite possibly the richest dhal I've ever tasted (I could feel a heart attack coming on as we ate - not a good sign for day one of the trip).

Our journey took us through Mansehra, Bisian and Balakot. I've mentioned before how as I get on it becomes more difficult for travel to impress me. But this drive alone had enough continuous views and panoramas that never got old. I was in awe.

We entered the Kaghan Valley, stopping off at the Makayla viewpoint on the way to our final destination via a mountain road to Shogran, the cliffs so sheer and the valleys so vast that it became difficult to make sense of the perspectives and scales of what we were seeing.

And so we found ourselves in a little mountain resort, settling in for what we expected to be a rewarding slog for the remainder of the trip.

North Pakistan, Day Zero: Strangers at Home

Even though I average about one trip a year to Pakistan, two trips in six months is pretty unprecedented for me. But this wasn't a usual trip "back home" to Karachi, but an exclusive tour of the north of the country where we will pretty much stay as tourists for the whole duration we're there.

My preference would have been for an internal trip as a part of a normally scheduled Karachi visit, but that idea was vetoed. As such I am once again stuck in travel hell, and Gatwick will be my new home for the next month or so.

And let us not forget the recent change in the geopolitics of the area. A part of our trip has already been changed to allow for any sparking of violence; it remains to be seen if there is any further disruption to our itinerary.

Fifteen

It's actually a struggle to recognise the decade and an half that this blog has existed. I've managed to say something somewhat apt to mark the occasion so far, but it's actually taken me two days to write this back-dated post, mainly because there's not really much more to say. And yet my OCD-completionist side compels me to write something, even if it's anything. And so here I am, playing the stream of consciousness word-vomit game that seems to work so well on Instagram. Maybe it'll even work without the photo.

Fifteen is an odd number. It's certainly a lot, but it's also just within grasping distance of my ability to measure the years, not that I have much else to use as a yardstick. Cliched as it sounds it does feel like yesterday that this blog would see weekly long form "opinion" posts which would regularly spill into real life. Ironically though as the content of the blog forever distills into a diary like journal, so does its value change for me. I do use it to look up dates that I travelled or watched a film, and maybe that's always been the point of it. Either way I've grown comfortable with its current form, even if ticking off the list of due posts makes it all fell like a chore sometimes/always.

Anyway, I think I've hit the minimum word count. Heaven knows what I'll write about next year.

Film: Good Boys

I'm not sure if Good Boys was supposed to be a Home Alone for the current age or just another attempt to juxtapose kids with swearing, but something didn't quite work for me. It could have been another Sausage Party but bad producing and flat acting (they are kids after all) was enough to neutralise any novelty or gimmick the film might have had to offer.

There were some standalone laughs, but no where near enough to warrant a recommendation. Pass.

Film: Fast & Furious: Hobbs & Shaw

As much a fan of the Fast & Furious franchise I am, I was prepared to enjoy Hobbs & Shaw as much as I did. Especially for the reasons why - for me H&S is one of the most laugh out loud funny films this year. In fact I'd even say it was produced much more as a police comedy than the ridiculous crime action of before - a Rush Hour for current times perhaps.

The cast was as good as you could hope for, with some straightforward, if a bit hammy, acting, and the plot and action all supported the chemistry of the main protagonists. It was all very reassuring and a great way to spend the two hours or so it ran for. Recommended.

Food: Kinkao

I guess that the law of averages is immovable. Just as I was expressing how nice it is to be discerning about where I eat - so that all visits remain special - I end up visiting Kinkao. Generic, bland and normal are the adjectives that spring to mind, and the £25+ per head paid at the end was enough for me to fundamentally question the whole point of eating out, and whether it's just safer not to.

Service was with a smile and the place was roomy, but to be honest that's just me trying to fill up this review a bit more. It's not that Kinkao is a bad place, just that if a measure of success is to have felt like an experience is one to be remembered, Kinkao is as solid a failure as it is a restaurant.

Film: The Dead Don't Die

What could have been outstanding kind of fell flat from the start. I'm happy to accept that I just didn't "get it", but for me The Dead Don't Die was a hot mess from the start, and just gets messier and messier as its run time hits its end.

And it's not just the plot that's nonsensical - the acting leaves a lot to be desired too, although the rest of the production is passable. Perhaps if taken as an experiment there might be some value in watching this film, but for the rest of us it's one to avoid.

Food: Amber

As my personal circumstances and preferences change I find myself going out less and less for for meals out - I've always maintained that I've never been much of a foodie and as a placeholder for socialising restaurants just fall by the wayside for more wholesome and intimate options.

That said, there are times when eating out is fully appropriate, but the re-framing of food as a poor social pastime means that I'm much more discerning about where I'll go. All of which made it quite fortunate that Amber was really really good. I suppose "Mediterranean" is the closest word I could use to describe it, but it was much more interesting than the usual med fare. We decided to get a spread for the table and so got to sample 14 hour shoulder, pide, meatballs, halloumi fritters and a selection of salads, all complementing each other perfectly. We even went all out with dessert, the hit of which was a pomegranate topped orange cake.

The place was smart yet open to facilitating a good time - breezy maybe - and service was always provided with a smile and generosity. And the cost was a pleasant surprise too, with the bill coming to under £25 even though I felt we have slightly over-ordered.

It'll definitely be a future option if I'm ever in Aldgate for dinner. Recommended.

Film: Midsommar

If there's anything to take away from this review it's not to make the same mistake that I did and go into this thinking it as a follow up to last year's Hereditary. That's not to say the difference in pace and tone is to the detriment of this film, no, but it pays to go in without a specific framing in mind.

Midsommar is probably just as interesting as Hereditary though. It's a film that is equally steeped in bizzaro world as it is in human normality and it's in that juxtaposition that the genius lies. A (fatal for me) consequence however is that there doesn't seem to be much of an ending to the film as it just potters off to inevitable conclusion.

If you're looking for something different, then Midsommar definitely fits that bill. Whether it wholly satisfies or not is less of a certainty.

Film: Spider-Man: Far from Home

In what is a clear case of us having just been plain spoiled, the latest Spider-Man film was never going to live up to expectations. In any other year this film would have been great, with our friendly neighbourhood web slinger swooshing and webbing and growing to face a foe that started with that upper hand. In the world of the MCU formula isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the flaws here are just way too apparent in the shadow of Endgame.

The romantic story is clumsy and schizophrenic, while he constant calling back to Iron Man is suffocating. Jake Gyllenhaal was great though, and in my view managed to carry most of the film.

The hope here is that as the Avengers double finale fades into memory comic book adaptations will have a more realistic baseline to aim for. Whether that pans out or not we'll just have to see.

Film: Men in Black: International

I recall the original MiB films as being quite bland and a bit flat - a decent enough watch once but nothing really else. And such is the case with the latest installment.

It's all just so... fine, it's hard to actually care. There was a stand out genius moment but that was drowned in a sea of adequacy. One to skip then.

Film: X-Men: Dark Phoenix

I'm not sure what the timeline is exactly, but it's almost like the makers of this, the final installment in the Fox X-Men franchise, knew there was no chance of further work so they just left it to the dogs. From the editing, to the plot to the acting and even makeup (which I'm sure each actor did themselves) everything was so amateur it was hard to take the film seriously.

It's a shame, because the framework was there and with a little bit of attention this could have been quite passable. There are reports of the ending having been rejigged and with such a flat third act that could have magnified the flaws in the rest of the film, but really none of the reasons matter too much. Dark Phoenix is one to avoid.

Film: John Wick 3 - Parabellum

What a film. If there was any doubt that the John Wick series didn't have legs, the latest installment totally puts those doubts at rest.

It's just so, so generous. A film that keeps on giving - with Chapter 4 already announced I was waiting for a cynical cliffhanger that just refused to come.

The flaws are easy to list - perhaps starting with the slight overstretching of the mythos, or maybe the over-rehearsed cracks in the otherwise dazzling choreography and action. But you know what? They ultimately all just add to the charm. Unlike other similar action series JW3 managed to improve on its previous installments.

I was grinning throughout and didn't want it to end. One of the films of the year for me. Recommended.

Film: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

So it turns out that this is the actually the third in a "Monster" franchise that includes the Skull Island film from 2017. This would be an epic fact if this, the second Godzilla film in the series wasn't such a mess.

It would be unfair to call it flat. If anything it was a bit too much. No, what the film actually proves is that scale and awe isn't enough if there isn't even a semblance of good story telling too.

At its best, the film is a decent timepass. In that sense it's probably one best seen at home on a rainy day.

Film: Avengers: Endgame

Avengers: Endgame is a film that fulfills what it set out to do - to be the conclusion to a saga spanning 21 previous films released over a decade. Although it manages this mammoth task perfectly, it doesn't quite manage to do so while being a technically good film in itself.

Of course, the film's making was unusual - Brie Larson has already told us that her first scene as Captain Marvel was from Endgame (spoiler: who is still a badass by the way), and you can almost see the seams in the patchwork of the way in which the film must have been shot. The acting is fine, the plot a little thin and the pacing off, but the action exceeds what we've seen before. Given the circumstances, it's all the best it can be.

But it would be useless to judge this as a film since it would never be seen as one. No, this is a final chapter, a deliverance, a closure of sorts, with a third act that's worth any flaws in not only this film but in the whole of the MCU altogether. The tears I shed and the communal cheers I joined in with weren't because of any technical quality in film-making but because it knew exactly how to push the button it's been building for so long. The term "fan-service" comes no where near in describing what this movie provides.

Before watching this tonight I was already planning my second viewing. And three hours later and I'm no longer sure if that will happen. This is not going to be a classic in itself, and probably won't even hold up as one of the better MCU movies. But what it is is an essential chapter in the Infinity Saga, and the perfect end to a classic series.

Film: Hellboy

Hellboy is a mess. In fact it's more than that. It's an example of how, given an idea with lots of potential, that the making of the film cannot be taken for granted. We're firmly in the age of superheroes now, there really shouldn't be any excuse for doing it badly. Yet here we are. If anything it goes to show just how well placed the appreciation for a good MCU flick is.

To the point though: Hellboy is a confused, badly produced, and flat film. It's not even "so bad its good" - I fully expect the film to be forgotten within the next few months. As much as emotion shouldn't be present in a review, it is more sad than anything else.

Please avoid.

Film: Shazam!

It's not that I dislike "silly" superhero movies - Aquaman was silly in the right way and there's plenty of further examples in the MCU - but there was something very childlike about Shazam! It wasn't the plot or the story (this is essentially a coming of age flick), but more about how the whole thing was put together.

I've recently started recognising the three act structure in films, and I think in those terms the biggest mishap in the film was the sloppy second and third act merging into one. This in turn threw off the pace of the film somewhat, and even took away from it's pretty good ending.

In conclusion then Shazam! was a decent watch if a bit forgettable - and although it's unclear if it resides in the DCEU it remains to be seen if this is a temporary misfire or a taste of what's to come.

Book: The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman

Self help books are always going to be controversial. Some people will swear by them, others will see them as a con, or the monetisation of common sense. Add to this that the book might be about love and relationships and it's inevitable to be the centre of an explosive discussion.

The truth is that, as with a lot of non fiction books of this nature, they're not for everyone. If you're good at relationships or are clearly emotionally intelligent, then a lot that you'll see in a book like this will be obvious or even vacuous. Similarly I can imagine someone who is naturally and innately into fitness rolling their eyes at dieting advice.

As in previous books of this type, the main thing I took away from The Five Love Languages was a framework with which to think about the subject of relationships and marriage. From that perspective, I found the book to be great in its analysis, but perhaps a little lacking in the solutions it offers. This could be because the book is a couple of decades old now. I found the classification of the five languages pretty striking and perhaps even obvious, and was even able to go as far as to recognise which ones I would most associate with myself.

So in many ways the naysayers might be right - the stuff in here is pretty obvious. But so is most things that people don't know, and as a piece of informal academia (rather than a practical guide to saving one's marriage), I think the book was a useful one.

Film: Eaten By Lions

I was always hoping for too much.

Looking at the trailer, I think it's fair to have expected something different - we have Omar and his half brother Pete, on a journey to find Omar's estranged Asian father. The set up is a strong one, but it was probably my own naivety and hope for a brown/Muslim British comedy that would actually hit the mark that convinced me to give it the benefit of the doubt.

But no, once again brown- and Muslim-ness was at times just used as a prop for other comedy but mainly not even used at all. The same film could probably have been made using any other context. That said, there was the Indian Wedding outro so at least we had that.

A film not worth watching I'm afraid.

Film: Us

Although it just falls short of Peele's last film Get Out, Us is still an interesting enough movie to watch. More thrilling and in your face than the previous, it might be seen as a bit of a blunt instrument, but the great production and acting all prop up a film that shouldn't be this good.

I do have to note that the third act is a bit wonky, although I do appreciate Peele's habit of elucidating so I can forgive that much. And the rest of the movie is so well done that it doesn't matter anyway.

A great follow up and I look forward to what else Peele has in store for the future.

Film: Escape Room

Firstly a public service announcement: there are at least thirty different movies named Escape Room, one of which was released less than a couple of years ago and is currently on Netflix. This review is for the 2019 version. That said, you should probably save some time and money and watch the Netflix version (or maybe even anything else on Netflix).

It's not to say the film was poor. It just wasn't very good. A promising start just degenerated into a rushed Saw-lite, and we all know how those turned out. The biggest shame is that it could have been so much more - all the ingredients were present.

A blatant laying up of a sequel might bring some hope to a wider franchise that might be good... but for now I can't quite bring myself to recommend this.

BAHfest London 2019

So here we are, at the fourth (but my third) annual celebration of all things bad science-y. Tonight was so much fun that it's more than easy for me to say it was better than last year's. It was bigger, longer and just all round funnier.

Three out of the seven were repeat presenters, which is again a shame (are the rest of us really that boring?) but despite the repeat appearances their stuff was fresh enough. Which brings us to the line up:

• How cheetahs were a necessary factor in Savannah tree control
• The use of sewer systems as a mass transit system
• How childbirth pains and issues were a direct consequence of a belief in a vengeful God
• How dark matter was largely made up of vampires
• The use of Dad Jokes to eject offspring from the nest
• How to make global overview a viable mass cause of social change
• How bipedalism was a direct consequence of social anxiety

Oh and there was an excellent keynote about the how the power of economists was rooted in their understanding of incentives.

Honestly, the BAHfest really has become one of the few things I genuinely look forward to and I can't wait till 2020.

The Ig Nobel Awards Tour Show

In a brilliant example of genius and as a special one off treat, the clever people at Improbable Research and the SMBC webcomic brought both of their respective tours and live events to the same day and venue resulting in almost a FULL DAY of nerdy science fun. First up was the Ig Nobel Awards Tour Show, which was basically just a bunch of funny science lectures. In contrast to the following BAHfest, the Ig Nobels are actually rooted in real, albeit funny, science... and as a result generated a different kind of joy and laughter in the audience.

I wasn't too familiar with the Ig Nobels before today, so from an educational perspective it was well worth it too - at the very least it made me feel envious that I probably won't get to see the actual awards show live. And as its an event based in real science I also got more of an appreciation of its value (vs the BAHfest which, lets face it, is just for laughs).

Of course it's unlikely that today's double billing will be a regular occurrence (I don't think the tour is intended to be a regular thing) so I'm glad I caught it when I did.

Film: Captain Marvel

As an origin story Captain Marvel does adequately enough. Amnesia was the tool used here, although I was looking at my watch during the first half as the movie laboured along. Fortunately the second half more than compensated for the build up and after summing all the bits the net result is an above average MCU film. Brie Larson was excellent in her sassy way, while her supporting cast all played their parts well. The action was on par, and overall the movie felt very feel good.

If any commentary on the feminism is required, well, it was a bit bemusing. The MCU decided to go the obvious route, with our super powered super hero being constantly repressed by her father/boss/AI Supremo and finally breaking free by embracing her ability to self determine. I did think it was a bit of a shame to have gone the common denominator way (the baselines being the usual twin goals of "doing what men can do" and "saving the world") but this is Disney so hey.

Social gripes aside, Captain Marvel was enjoyable enough and as a character I at least can't wait to see her in further MCU films (like the next one). Recommended.

Food: Hamgipak

As my general eating outings decrease over time it becomes all the more rare that I actually visit somewhere new. Enter Hamgipak, chosen not because it was good, or we were hankering for Korean food... but only because it was a stones throw from the the actual venue we were heading to after dinner.

That said, as a pick of convenience it wasn't too bad. The place was clean and friendly, and intimate containing no more than 30 covers or so. The five of us were able to enjoy a rowdy enough meal with some decent food, although marks were lost due to how late my own order took to arrive. Price-wise there weren't too many surprises with the bill hitting around £19 a head for a main each and shared starters.

It's unlikely that I'll visit Hamgipak again, mainly because I tend not to visit Fulham that often, but if you're ever in the area and in need of a meal you probably can't do much worse.

Food: Bim's

I have a informal minimum requirement when it comes to food reviews. Fast food doesn't usually make the cut, mainly because there's not really much to say about a generic dirty chicken burger or grill-defrosted quarter pounder. On the other hand seeing as fast food makes up 70% of my eating out, and then even that proportion further split only between two or three places it probably makes those places the most important ones to tell others about about[1].

Crises of existence aside Bim's is interesting enough to share some thoughts about. Billed as the closest Muslims will ever get to a halal MacDonald's, the headliner here is the £1 cheeseburger which, to be completely honest, is exactly what you would expect a £1 cheeseburger to be like. It certainly wasn't enough for us and so we decided to explore the remainder of the menu, eventually settling on a Double Fumey (which, for those counting at home, resulted in three patties each). In short, as inoffensive as the food was here don't kid yourself - the £1 cheeseburger is a false economy and not a reason to visit Bim's.

The food is decent but between the location and waiting times I can't think of why I would ever recommend Bim's over other options - an established Peri Peri is far superior for that quick bite, while Bim's isn't exactly the place to go for a sit down meal (not least because it has no seating). I suppose there is a novelty factor somewhere - after all we did make our way there to try it - but by that measure almost by definition there's no need to go back now that we have.

[1] GG's and Ed's, both in Redbridge, are frequented by us almost weekly.