Snippet

xxxx says (10:45):
    What is your nerdiest one liner / pickup line?
    Would you like to see the exponential growth of my natural log?
    mohoho
Shak says (10:45):
    oh dear
xxxx says (10:45):
    If you were cosine squared and I was sine squared, we would be one.
    i thought you'd appreciate these
    if you met a girl who found these funny
    woudl you be attracted to her
Shak says (10:46):
    yes
    well
    if she was hot

[...]

Shak says (10:46):
    in fact... even if she didnt get them and was hot id still be attracted
xxxx says (10:46):
    WAAAAAAAAAH
    so shallow
Shak says (10:48):
    nah seriously. if she understood those... i'd be impressed and attracted. unfortunately i doubt she's be hot so it wouldnt go any further.
xxxx says (10:48):
    hey man ... there are some hot geeks
    woudl you marry a woman who could whup your ass at sf
Shak says (10:48):
    its funny... i say to my girl mates "looks times personality equals a constant" and they all giggle and say its true... but dont realise im calling them either stupid or ugly.

[...]

Shak says (10:49):
    its funny... i say to my girl mates "looks times personality equals a constant" and they all giggle and say its true... but dont realise it means theyre either stupid or ugly.
xxxx says (10:49):
    wher you c&p that from
    mohoho
Shak says (10:49):
    its mine...

[...]

Shak says (10:50):
    im gonna put this on my blog so thought i'd put something a bit less offensive :D

[...]

Shak says (10:50):
    anyway yeh. i'd marry a girl who could beat me at sf. yet to find one since im so damn good at it

Link of the Day

The 100 Sexiest Movie Stars

Another day and yet another chart ranking people on their physical beauty. Or is it? I've often said that hotness doesn't require physical beauty (Rihanna for instance is pretty ugly, but hot as heck), something which a lot of people, particularly girls, don't understand. And they say I'm shallow.

Anyway it's a stance that's vindicated by this list as we see various not-so-pretty people topping it. Take Scarlett Johansson (4) for instance. Now I'm not a fan in the first place but nevertheless I'd say that she's not that pretty and doesn't have that much of a hot bod either. But even so I totally understand why she's placed so high in the chart. She just has it.

Personally I'm happy to see that a few of my choices have made the chart: Eva Green (31), Kristen Bell (29), Kate Beckinsale (19), Sarah Michelle Gellar (11!), Zoe Saldana (5), Angelina Jolie (2). I definitely appreciate the rest of the chart too though; I'm particularly happy to see Mila Kunis (8) placed so high. Unfortunately the whole chart fails massively with its Number 1, but I won't reveal who that is here. In a word though: shudder.

Oh and for all my female readers who are seeing this as yet further evidence that I'm just a typical pervy guy... well the link leads you to the 50 sexiest men too (although I've not really spent much time on that). Don't say I never do anything for you. Not that I've ever denied being a typical pervy guy anyway.

Snippet

Shak says (09:49):
    i prefer staying in nowadays too
    although amybe i shouldnt say that to potentials
xxxx says (09:51):
    why?
    if she's the type who likes that
    just say it
    i dunnpo what you say to these girls when you meet them
    but let's be frank here
xxxx says (09:52):
    you wanna get married ...
    if you gotta be a little dishonest
    so be it
Shak says (09:52):
    heh
xxxx says (09:52):
    you think yyyy woudl have married me .. if i told her i was ***CENSORED***?
Shak says (09:52):
    well tbh... i dont tell them about that until the third meeting
xxxx says (09:52):
    TOO SOON
Shak says (09:52):
    oh crap
    really?
xxxx says (09:53):
    wait till they in a legally binding relationship!
    man .... no wonder you crashing and burning on the 3rd date!
    keep the sweet talking till sh'es said YES"
Shak says (09:54):
    hey man... nowadays... even that's too early. divorces are too damn easy
xxxx says (09:54):
    nah man ...
    all you gotta do .. is introduce her to one of your 'crazy' relatives
xxxx says (09:55):
    who always says in front of her how he'd kill anyone who betrays the family
Shak says (09:55):
    omg. it all makes sense. wait. let me write all this down...
xxxx says (09:56):
    it's not easy finding a wife .. you gotta do what you can to tip t he blance in your favour!
Shak says (09:57):
    i went on a PR training course the other weekend. maybe i should use some of the stuff i learned in that....

The Good and The Bad

Can a good deed ever be bad? Or a bad deed good? I guess the first answer which comes to mind is "no", but after a few examples it becomes clear that the question is not so straightforward after all.

First up let's take the classic smoking hijabi. Judging by the passing comments of many, the hijab (which can otherwise normally be considered a good thing) somehow becomes a bad act if accompanied by certain other habits, like smoking or wearing relatively tight clothes. The implicit course of action advised (from a distance, naturally) is for her to remove the hijab since the person in question clearly isn't good enough to wear it; she or the world is worse off by her wearing it. Sometimes the advice given is for the person to stop smoking, but since this is just given to hijabis who smoke (as opposed to anyone), again it seems that the hijab is bad for somehow "amplifying" an already bad act.

Or how about stealing money to feed your (albeit secret) charity habit? This is a good one since we're now discussing whether it's a noble act in its own right or just something to justify ill gotten gains. So it depends on the intention and context.

So we've established that ambiguously good and bad deeds to exist; or at least are perceived to exist by us, even if it takes a bit of consideration to recognise them as such. But who cares? Does it matter as long as we're all trying our best? And if it is an issue, how should we address it? If indeed at all? Is Shak just going off on one again?

Well it's only important if you want to reduce any bad you might be doing, or to help others focus on theirs. Sometimes we don't even realise we're doing something bad (or indeed good), so it could be a form of discouragement or encouragement. But like we saw above determining whether or not it's good-bad or bad-good is quite tricky. In formal terms the main thing to determine is whether there's a causal relationship between various actions or if they're merely correlated or even related at all.

It's unlikely that the hijabi is smoking just because she covers her hair, so it's difficult to argue that it's caused by it. There may be a correlation though - perhaps some new bout of confidence or independence enabled her to both don the hijab and take up smoking. It's probably likely that they're not linked at all though, that she was smoking before or as an aside to her headdress, so in this case I don't really see an issue with her continuing to smoke while wearing a hijab (well not any more than I would with anyone else smoking - this is coming from someone who even hates sisha).

But let's not pick on the poor hijabi, not when the charity example is a better example of why context matters. Let's say that a guy already generously donates £500 a month, funded by his job. Now let's say that he loses his job, and turns to stealing in order to keep up his payments. This can be described as a causal relationship, and since the paying of charity is directly causing the theft, I'd say that it's now a bad act. The guy should stop paying the charity and so stop stealing.

But now let's say that a guy is already a thief and has been for a while. Putting aside the fact that he's a bad person already, what if he then decides to pay a bit of charity with these ill-gotten gains? Does that make his charity a bad act? I'd argue not; the money has already been stolen and charity seems a better use for it than blowing it all on booze and hookers. Of course the guy should stop stealing full stop, and the hijabi should stop smoking full stop, but we're more interested in the relationships between various acts here rather than what an ideal person would do.

We're probably not thieves so that example is probably a bit extreme. But this juxtapositioning of acts does happen a quite lot, especially now as Muslims become increasingly practising or worldly or both. In all our respective and wonderful multidimensionality there's plenty of more subtle and everyday examples of this tug of war between good and bad, many of which are generally accepted.

So to recap, I count four kinds of relationship between good and bad deeds:

1. No dependency, where the bad would be done regardless of the good and the good regardless of the bad, and there's no impact on the quality of the good act. Smoking and wearing a hijab falls in this category.
   
2. A correlation, like the above except that both the good and bad both came about at the same time via a single source (not necessarily good or bad). Since they're still independent there's still no impact on the quality of the good act, although there is a danger that addressing the bad act via that source could mean stopping the good one too.
3. A good-bad relationship, where someone does a bad deed only to do a good one, like stealing only to pay it all to charity. I'd say that the quality of the good act has been diminished in this case and this person should stop both acts.
   
4. A bad-good relationship, where someone uses a good act to justify a later bad one. Someone who becomes proud now that they pray five times a day could fall into this category. Although the quality of the good act does diminish, it should be simple (!) enough to stop doing the bad while keeping the good.
   

And this is why this analysis is important. A lot of the time we allow our bad habits to dictate our good ones, or allow our good acts to justify our bad ones. In other cases we refrain from doing good at all because of non-dependant bad actions, or remove the good because we incorrectly think that doing so will help us with the bad.

So the hijabi will remove her head-covering because she thinks as a smoker she'll be in a better position without it, or the thief will stop helping others (but carry on stealing anyway) because he's told his money is haraam, or the everyday Joe will not go on Hajj because he listens to too much music and isn't Islamic enough. Knowing the respective position of all your good and bad acts can help you figure out how to increase the former and decrease the latter in the most efficient and non-impactive way possible.

In closing I think what's important is to try and figure out why we do what we do, and what the downstream implications are. If a good action directly means you do a bad one, then I'd rethink your strategy of doing that good action. And if you're already doing something you consider bad then although you should make an effort to stop doing it, it shouldn't be an obstacle to doing other good things. If anything the good will influence you to stop doing the bad (provided there's no dependency between them).

This self assessment might be hard at first but I figure it's important and will become easier over time both as we accept that we're just human and then learn to be honest with ourselves. Once we get the ball rolling I reckon the balance will swing towards the good all by itself anyway.

IANAS.

Film: Paranormal Activity

Like many red blooded up-themselves bonehead males I claim not to be scared of much. I pride myself in my rationality: roller coasters are designed to be safe and therefore can't be that bad, and my faith reassures me regarding most spooky occurrences. In this case I know that they're only actors in a scary movie, and in that way I tend not to be affected by them too much. Quite controversially however I did find Blair Witch a bit disturbing, but only for the last 30 seconds or so.

Although done as well as any other shaky handy cam "real footage" film, Paranormal is just another scary flick. You know exactly what they're trying to do and how they're trying to do it and a lot of the time it's difficult to get sucked in. In fact some of the set-pieces are a bit too well designed, shattering any illusion that this is genuine footage. Yes, there are scenes that make you jump (but not scream of course), but hey, you can get over that. Although I must say my hand went to my mouth more than a few times.

In fact it's the non-scary bits which have been done the most well. Katie is a real sweetheart, her boyfriend Micah a red blooded up-himself bonehead who claims not to be scared of anything. It's this, the focus on their everyday like which gets you to relate to what happens to them during the night. You're scared for them, not yourself, and in some ways the makers get to creep you out via the back door.

And by the end of the film there does indeed seem to be a cumulative effect on you, in my case one that lasted way after the film had finished. All of a sudden the streets of Ilford were emptier, darker and longer than usual. My shoelace came undone while walking to my car. Did I stop to tie it back up again? Hell no.

So yes, I guess I was well and truly creeped out after all. Even now as I look back the rational part of me sees the actors, the scripts and the director setting us all up for a fall. But all that is helplessly pushed out by anything irrational I might have subconsciously picked up. To be affected by a film in such a way is pretty unique, and in fact refreshing, even if I doubt that's a feeling that will last past the night.

Recommended.

Link of the Day

The Story of Stuff

Here's an insightful, and more importantly, an accessible take on why our consumption based society is so wrong, not just on a principle level but on a practical one too. I must admit that I got annoyed with some of the politics and sensationalism in it ("think of the babies and their toxic breast milk!") but despite that it's a pretty compelling watch.

I especially loved the Consumption episode, but not just because it vindicates my own tightness and resistance to having to have the latest and greatest (something which apparently used to be called thriftiness and was something to be respected).

Anyway, enjoy. Thanks to Fuad for the link.

Shak's Choice: Gursharonjit Grewal

Those of you who follow me on Twitter (and perhaps the rest of you who know me too) will probably wonder why this has come so late. Well the truth is that I wanted to see just how genuine her portrayal on Channel 4's The Family actually was; and after four episodes and numerous radio and television appearances I think we all know who Gursharonjit, or Shay, really is.


I have to (respectfully of course) admit that she's not super stunning in the celebrity sense, but then she's hardly ugly. I'd say she has a more "real and practical" good looks, you know, the type that doesn't need an airbrush to pass our now high standards. But regardless of her looks she's actually made the illustrious status of Shak's Choice for much more important reasons: she's really here because of her ace personality and character.

Every Wednesday we see how devoted she is to her family. She finds happiness and contentment in the simple things: whether it's in playing simple games of noughts and crosses with her soon-to-be husband, wordsearches with aunty or messing around with Tindy. She's responsible and gladly so, making sure the dogs are fed even though she's late for her own hen party and finding it an honour to massage her in-laws head/feet or even thread uncle's nose - she both allows everyone to rely on her but equally doesn't find it weak to rely on others. She's smart in a real, experienced way, yet wonderfully simple: she won't feel that she's wasted her life if she doesn't get to publish a book or influence government policy.

Genuinely nice and friendly, undemanding and never a headache; her happiness stems from that of those around her, a selflessness which is depressingly rare nowadays. Shay just goes to show that you don't need to be a tarted up celeb or popstar to be uniquely, yet massively, attractive. I just hope that Sunny doesn't track me down and kick my arse.

Things That Pee Me Off #4: Literary Hypocrisy

• If a guy offers a girl his coat or scarf, then he's patronising or, even worse, only after one thing.
• If a guy walks or drives a girl (friend or otherwise) home, right up to her door and waits till she gets in, then he's a creepy stalker.
• If a guy insists on paying, then he's controlling and repressive.
• If a guy looks ahead while walking with a girl, or makes sure he walks on her roadside or between her and a rowdy crowd of people, or behind her while climbing up stairs and in front of her while climbing down, then he's obstructive and irritating.
• If a guy wants to make a girl his main focus, much more than any job or social life, then he's misguided and unambitious.
• If a guy shows an interest in what a girl likes and wants, then he's either faking it or is too boring to have his own interests.
• If a guy wants to spend all his free time with a girl, then he's clingy and suffocating.
• If a guy wants to just talk, then he talks too much.
  
• If a guy shows genuine concern about a girl's well-being, then he's over-protective or under-estimating.
• If a guy says how he feels then he's a metrosexual and unmanly.
  

All this, unless the guy has a marble-like chest which glitters in the sun and lists blood as his all time favourite beverage.

You all know I'm right.

Link of the Day

Eid al-Adha and the Hajj, 2009

Boston.com does it once again with their big picture, uniquely covering the diversity and massiveness of the global Islamic festival of Eid-ul-Adha.

My picks? 4 (possibly predictably), 5 ('cos of the memories), 19 (due to the contrast) and any piccie that shows thousands of people praying together.

Film: A Serious Man

The now traditional Eid film has to be pretty special. After a long exhausting day it doesn't take much to allow me to drop off, and only the most gripping and engaging movie can really do that.

Unfortunately this time, A Serious Man wasn't quite that film. To be fair I kinda knew that it wouldn't be, what with it being a Coen Brothers' flick and all, but even I was surprised at the effect the sheer randomness and lack-of-a-beginning-and-end had on me.

To be fair I enjoyed what I did get to see. The humour was dark and, at times, farcical while all the performances were top notch in their glib depiction of reality and the film as a whole was well put together. I can't really tell you what happened toward the end since I wasn't conscious.

But at the end of the day despite my already-existing state of sleepiness it was a film that had put me to sleep and for that reason I can't really recommend it, unless of course you're into this kinda stuff.

Oh the other hand there's something unique about the sleep you get in the cinema.

Game: New Super Mario Bros. Wii

It's a new Mario game! Always cause for celebration eh? To be honest though this, the Wii incarnation of the now not so new DS refresh doesn't really add much to what we've seen before on the handheld. We still have all the moves and grooves (although we now have a propeller hat and penguin suit), the lovely platformer puzzle action that only Nintendo do best and even the graphics look the same. In fact, as it stands I reckon it could have easily been played on the DS.

Except we now have simultaneous multi-player action.

That means up to four players on the screen at the same time, each getting in each others way, and equally helping and stitching each other up. There's no point in me describing exactly what this part of the game is like, if you're a Mario fan then you'd have always wondered what it would be like to play with Luigi at the same time. And it's exactly how you wanted it to be.

There are slight issues though, my main of which is the insistence on using motion controls, in this case to both spin jump and pick up certain items. Maybe I'm just a more animated player but there has already been times when I've jumped or left Yoshi by accident, and in each case it was game-spoilingly annoying.

But once I learned to keep my hands still (!) I was able to more fully appreciate the antics of multi-player Mario. Since lives aren't an issue (in typical Mario style), there's no guilt in throwing someone off a ledge just after you helped them up it. Or being a total git and nicking all the mushrooms even if you don't need them. This kinda stuff never gets boring.

Anyway it was probably a foregone conclusion but I love this game. Very much recommended and one of the rare reasons to turn on your Wii this Christmas.

Film: 2012

Now infamous over the top disaster movie where for once its not us humans who are the cause of our own demise (it's that damn Sun instead).

Otherwise it's pretty much as you would expect: big bangs, huge crashes and lots of edge-of-your-seat will-they-escape moments.

And I quite liked it! The film progressed, what were quite separate story arcs combined and diverged, and there were some truly awesome set-pieces (despite their slightly sub-par special effects). John Cusack is of course the man, but the supporting cast weren't dummies either.

I don't think it'll win any oscars but I certainly didn't hate it as much as I should have. Recommended!

Alliance of Civilizations Media Training

To be honest I still don't know why a good friend had put me forward for this, a UN-funded media training weekend for Muslim opinion makers. I mean hey, I do think that I'm a passable writer who might sometimes talk about religion on his hobby-blog, but that's a far cry from being an influential opinion maker or leader. So despite my paranoia telling me I was just being sent to make a fool of myself I went along anyway: after all, I had never been a delegate or sent on a business trip or like (expenses and all) so it would be something new for me at least. Plus it was quite flattering that I was invited in the first place so would have been rude not to attend, and I was sure it would broaden my horizons in more than a few ways anyway. And hey, it's not like I'd ever get a paid trip to Bristol ever again.

The United Nations Alliance of Civilizations is an organisation set up by some important people in order to directly address the problems various cultures and communities around the world have in communicating with each other. For us, this meant some media training this weekend. The pitch given to me was that we would get the opportunity to add value with our existing opinions and form new ones based on the eclectic mix of Islamic personalities. Yay, a weekend of some serious brainstorming and debate, I thought.

In reality it was actually more of a classroom based formal PR and media training: you know, how to give press releases, deal with a crisis and write opinion pieces for newspapers. A team from Fenton Communications were running the sessions and it was immediately clear that they really knew their stuff; more importantly though they also knew how most effectively to get us to understand it all. In terms of the training itself the whole weekend was pretty slick; in fact we were well looked after throughout the whole weekend.

The first day was pretty hard and perhaps even a bit boring, as we were told what seemed like the obvious things about how Muslims were currently being misrepresented in the media. Quite predictably this paved the way for us to rant and moan about how bad we have it and how the world should change. What I saw as digressions made me switch off a bit; after all, if I had wanted to hear this stuff I'd have just picked any random Muslim blog in the comfort of my own home. Having said that it was clear that most of the group found it relevant and engaging, something which added to my increasing suspicion of how I shouldn't have actually have been there in the first place.

The technical training in the afternoon was much more interesting as we found out about controlling an interview, the use of emotion and emotive words, some basic cognitive theory and other PR tips and tricks. Again most of this was obvious once we heard it, but often things have to be said in order for them to be registered and put into practise so I was happy to hear what was being said.

The evening was more fun as I hung out with the rest of the delegates, all smart and with a clear stake in British Islam. We had Imams and chaplains, charity workers, Islamic human rights people, student young ambassadors, lawyers, councillors, mosque trustees, Islamic bloggers and webwasters, authors and journalists - clear leaders in the making. Despite the lack of my own set of credentials (I got used to the polite "oh really"s after telling those who asked that I was a software developer) we did connect on a social level and had fun, even if that was by playing silly games of charades, word association and something called Zip Zap Boing outside on a bit of Bristol University's green. Further still I realised that although my colleagues each had an overt Islamic brand, that I was being unfair in assuming that that was all they were each about, and they didn't wear their Muslim hats (topis?) all the time. Oh and as an aside it seems that there's a bit of a clothes shortage in Bristol on Saturday nights. Particularly for women.

After a night's rest (single hotel rooms are pretty lonely I reckon) I decided to approach the remainder of the weekend in a different way. I'm not really a media person, not in the way the session wanted me to be anyway, and once I realised this the whole thing became a lot less forced - and ironically now that it was of passing and academic interest to me it became quite a bit more fun and interesting. We also began the practical work which helped: video interview workshops (in which I was pleasantly torn apart by a UN representative) and another in which we had our opinion writing critiqued by Fenton. Unfortunately just as we were getting into the swing of things it was all over: a fun coach ride back to London and a brief meeting with others on the programme (whom had been sent to Spain instead) and we were done.

I guess figuring out what you aren't is just as important as figuring out what you are, and for that reason I'm glad that I went to Bristol this weekend. I now know that I don't want to be a "face of Islam", not with respect to the media in the UK anyway, be it via TV, an affiliation with an organisation or even writing. On the other hand it's encouraging to see that there are bright people out there willing to take on that role, do it well and even enjoy themselves while they're doing it. And finally the weekend reinforced my opinion that it's actually okay (and even helpful) to resist Islamic™ branding and that being "subtly always Muslim" can be just as powerful as being "overtly Muslim first".

That's not to say that I didn't learn loads or will take absolutely nothing away; I now have a more formal understanding of how the media functions and will definitely apply some of the things I learned in my writings and even social interactions. And if I'm honest I am excited to by a part of something so important going forward (maybe I'll buy a UN t-shirt or something) even if I'm not going to be the most participatory of the bunch. I did some classic networking and met some ace and inspiring people which is always a good thing as the possible opportunities and doors open up... and hey, the food wasn't that shabby either.

Film: Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani

Passable film about a guy who falls for a girl who is more interested in friendship than getting jiggy. Ranbir Kapoor is pretty neat as the poor sod in question and while Katrina Kaif isn't as hot as she usually is she's cute enough throughout.

There's plenty of laughs and even more sophisticated in-jokes; I didn't even mind the Salman Khan cameo that much. The film and plot were quite simple, if anything spoiled post-interval by irrelevance and distraction. Music-wise I was really looking forward to seeing and hearing those two Atif tracks in the flesh, except those in charge decided to butcher them both.

Nothing really unmissable then, but then not that shabby either; APKGK seems to be pretty much time-pass and nothing more.

Abstruse Goose

Not that I'd condone chasing the chase (or even what's being implied at the end of it), but I gotta admit I relate to the following on some level:



It'll be a good test of my blagging skills anyway.

New Music

Sugarless - Swami

The guys who brought us "Hey Hey" are back with this smacker of a tune. To be honest I didn't like it at first, but now? Wowzer.

Film: The Men Who Stare at Goats

Disappointing "true story" about a US Army drive to explore psychic warfare over the last few decades. Despite solid acting and a decent premise it's just not as funny or entertaining as it should have been and whether it's true or not becomes irrelevant as the film repeatedly fails to deliver anything zany enough to make you care.

It's certainly well made and scripted and when the rare laughs come you do appreciate them. I guess there just wasn't enough substance or story to carry the film off as a whole, which is a shame as the potential was certainly there.

All in all a bit of a waste, especially of talent. Leave it to DVD I'd say.

New Music

Tu Jaane Na - Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani
Tera Hone Laga Hun - Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani

A pair of tracks from the upcoming Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani, both dropped by Atif Aslam. They're both very different but I think I prefer the latter due to it having Alisha Chinoy on it. It seems that Bollywood is finally delivering on both the film and music fronts after a lengthy lull.

Credit to Humaira for naming the tracks.

The Family

Well... It certainly wasn't the car-crash telly I was expecting. On the contrary in fact: I was quite impressed. Tonight we saw in close-up a traditional Indian family, and totally secure and unashamed in being one, not putting on any pretences or pretending to be open minded (even though they actually were).

As a show it was well made: quite "pure" and with no obvious signs of manipulation or rating boosting sleaziness. The mix of reality and interview was well paced, even though I noticed a bunch of continuity blips (Sunny's beard being one of them). Still, the programme as a whole had bags of real moments.

But for me the real talent of the show was in the Grewals. The mum (I can't help but call her auntie) is the star of course, and absolutely the rock she was described as being in the intro; she knows that making the tea doesn't make her a slave or repressed being. The dad makes a wonderful partner (if not, husband): someone who is strong in his opinion and full of honour (the good type) while making them. This quality has obviously been passed down to their kids who, although not intelligent in the obvious and classical sense (i.e. they're not the lawyers or doctors we all seem to want) know exactly where they're at more so than any "professional". Tindy although outgoing has apparently never had a girlfriend, is still a virgin and obviously proud of who he is. Sunny isn't the bragging idiot rudeboy we would automatically assign to someone who looks like that, but instead is a strong and responsible husband-to-be. Shay is just plain hot, but not at the cost of any personality; I loved little things about her like the ease with which she referred to her in-laws as mum and dad; or played with her future brother-in-law; or even stepped up when it came to dying her mum's hair or doing the dishes - all with a smile on her face, despite the situation she found herself to be in.

Maybe it's early days yet but I just can't see anything about the Grewals to cause me to even raise an eyebrow. They're real, they know what's important and are happy to stick to their principles. Most of all it's clear how content they are with their simple lives - there's no chasing status or money or careers or Status-Update-worthy social activities here. It's a rare thing being this content in my opinion.

In fact I actually miss them all a bit now. I can't wait for the next seven episodes!

Building an HTPC: A Second Go

It was last May when a friend and I first tried our hand at building an HTPC. And it wasn't that bad of a project: for £225 we built a pretty solid machine on which to watch stuff as well as manage media and the like. However over a year of use a fair few issues have arisen, both early on and more recently. These include:

• The Antec NSK2480 case being WAY too big, especially for an MATX motherboard.
• As something which is really a desktop, the whole build sucks up a lot of power.
  
• The 250GB HD quite unsurprisingly not being nowhere near enough space in practice.
• A change in the codec BBC use for their HD broadcasts resulting in the ATI chipset of the 780G crapping out - I had added a digital satellite card since the original build in order to watch HD satellite. Generally ATI seems a bit flaky when it comes to video decoding.
  

But to be honest none of these really warranted any fix other than buying a new HD and maybe a cheap Nvidia video card. However when a friend (yes, the same one as last time) pointed me to a new Nvidia ION-based ITX motherboard I must admit that I raised an eyebrow. However since at that point any new build would have to be funded by the reselling of the existing HTPC or its bits (it was too new to merely write off) it wasn't going to happen. The real deciding factor was my dad requiring a new desktop PC - a worthy use for the current components.

Standalone solutions seem to have progressed since last year - the WDTV springs to mind as a decent no-hassle media player. However I've since become used to the flexibility a Windows based HTPC affords me - time-stretching, episode and film management and watching and recording HD digital satellite

So I bought the following bits for the new build:

• £103.24 for an ASUS AT3N7A-I NVIDIA ION with Intel Atom N330 Dual Core Processor HDMI Mini ITX Motherboard
• £71.89 for a Samsung EcoGreen F2 1.5TB Hard Drive SATAII 32MB Cache

While I currently have on order:

• £34.98 for a Piano Black Mini ITX Cube Case - With 300W PSU
• £3.09 for a Xilence Red Wing 80mm Quiet Fan

The RAM I'm recycling from the old build, but 2x1GB of the cheap stuff can be had for around 25 quid (indeed that's what I bought for my dad's new build). The motherboard is now the most expensive part, but since it includes the Atom processor I wasn't too bothered. I also decided to go for a cheap-o case this time since the Antec from last time was seen to be a big (both literally and metaphorically) mistake. The cube case is bigger than it has to be - I needed something which would accommodate my digital satellite card, but without this requirement other options were available, including slimline cases and external (and hence silent) power supplies.

All the above were bought from eBuyer with the total (including RAM) coming up to a princely £237.20, although this includes a specification changing 1.5TB HD. Replacing this with the cheapest 250GB HD from eBuyer (£30) brings the total down to just under £200, so we've actually made a saving on last time.

Building was once again straightforward; even more so since the CPU was already mounted on the motherboard. The Atom itself is a step backward from the "real, grown-up" Athlon processor - it's clocked lower and is generally touted as a lightweight by design. The Nvidia ION is what makes this board ideal for HTPC usage, although this does mean that any playback software would HAVE to use assisted video card decoding (the Athlon alone was able to handle 1080p).

In practice this wasn't much of a problem. Almost every player has solutions for assisted decoding, especially since Windows 7 now comes with a codec to do this out of the box. Mediaportal and Windows 7 Media Centre (including BBC HD) each performed wonderfully with not much CPU load. Even the picture looked better putting the ATI based set up to shame.

There are still some issues though. The poor little Atom processor does show it's lack of oomph as certain points - mainly with UI usage so it's not that much of a big deal. The Asus board is pretty loud too; this despite reviews saying it would ship with a quieter fan. I suspect this is fixable with an aftermarket solution so we'll see what happens. On the whole I think I've profited from the build.

Overall I'm quite impressed by my second build. In a stroke I've managed to solve all the issues I had with my last build and at a cheaper cost (like for like). And as a bonus my dad gets a new PC... But that's probably not relevant to most of you reading.

Film: Fantastic Mr. Fox

In a world where CGI rules the animation roost, it's quite refreshing to see stop motion given such a platform as this. Of course there's something about Roald Dahl which makes his stories lend themselves to such a format and on the whole the film was pretty spot on in portraying the sense of dark, yet musical, fun he's most famous for.

Having said that I watched this with a bit of trepidation, mainly due to what I had seen in the trailers. But I was pleasantly surprised to see that this wasn't yet another American shallowing of a well loved book, but something which did it justice on all fronts; the plot and story were lovely and well paced, the voice-acting genius and the humour spot on. The direction - particularly when leveraging the animation style, just made the whole thing that much more perfect.

I really liked this film; it was simple and accessible, yet engaging and deep. I totally recommend it.

Food: Tinseltown

"But this is old news!" I hear you cry. "Tinseltown has been around for ages, I'm so cool 'cos I go there really late!". Well yes maybe, but what you might not know is that they've only gone and opened up a new bar down the road in Gants Hill.

It is a bit of a weird location to be honest. I'm guessing it was the cheapest place from which to serve an increasingly trendy (and no, that's not a compliment) Ilford massive, but still there's something about having it so far from a more central location that makes it feel a little out of place.

But despite the location it's still the same ol' Tinseltown we've grown to love (and hate). The food is still pretty good if very pricey: I don't think anyone around here will be paying a tenner for a burger and fries more than once a year. The service is okay, but only once you get a seat: for some reason they wouldn't let us sit down until ALL of our party arrived, which was a bit stupid seeing as how some were going to join us afterwards. It's clean and hip - oh and yes, it's still overrun with annoying students who should really be doing their homework or something.

So despite the quality, I don't think I'll be going back. Unlike in Farringdon or Hampstead there's way too many options around here, some within a two minute walk of Tinseltown, each offering better value and attracting a less annoying crowd. In fact that's one reason why I hope it does stick around; hopefully it'll serve to keep the other, much better, places chav-free.

Film: Up

Up is a pretty sad film. It's even quite dark at some points. This doesn't make it a failure though; quite the opposite in fact, as the film goes a long way to show that Disney-Pixar doesn't have to always be about the happy-happy-joy-joy.

So it's different then, an evolution on the typical stuff these two studios produce? Well yes, although I don't think Disney-Pixar have ever had trouble with being original. Of course we still have the solid (and for me largely unexpected) plot, the funnies and the bits that make you cry (unless you're manly like me). I'd actually say that there's more poignancy in this than there usually is in this genre. This quality follows through to the presentation; the level of animation, although not leaps and bounds over what we've seen previously, certainly shows how CGI is coming into its own. On a related note, the 3D was of the most subtle and effective I've yet seen; I didn't notice my glasses at all, and had no problems with eye-strain like I usually do with the technology.

So yes, once again top marks to Disney-Pixar. Up is brilliant and thoroughly recommended.

Link of the Day

Conflict in Pakistan

Despite being accused of being not very patriotic toward the place I consider "back home", I do like to think I have some sort of connection to Pakistan. I won't argue my case here, but I will admit to feeling a pang of sadness after seeing Boston's current Big Picture.

Link of the Day

'Younger wife' for marital bliss

In short age (the guy should be at least 5 years older) and intelligence (the girl should be smarter) are factors which contribute to a happy family.

Of course this puts me in a bit of a quandary. Although the age thing is easy enough, finding a 26 year old PhD is less so.

New Music

Aahun Aahun - Love Aaj Kal

Not sure how I missed this one, but it's so modern filmi I'm happy to have it now.

Kise De Naal Pyar - Miss Pooja

I've been so off the bhangra scene I'm not even sure whether I like this or not. It does the job and I'm sure Rishi Rich knew what he was doing.

Faruk and Fazila

"I can't believe..." has been the most commonly used phrase over the past week or so, albeit in different contexts. First it was "I don't believe you" when Faruk announced his engagement, then it was a "I can't believe Faruk is getting married" which then transformed into a "I can't believe I'm at Faruk's wedding". And to be honest, I can't believe I'm here writing an ode to Faruk and his new wife Fazila.

Faruk is one of my oldest friends. And since I've only known him for four years or so, I mean that in the age sense. But that's not why none of us were taken aback by his awesome news; no it was more to do with his till then attitude towards the whole game of marriage. In short, he was quite cynical about the whole thing and pretty much dead set against it. Well, for himself at least: for the rest of us marriage was something to be pursued (even though he presented it as a rite of passage more than anything else).

But Faruk wasn't (isn't?) just wise with regards to marriage. His words, behaviour and manner all reveal a lifetime of experience in many areas; the most important being when dealing with other people. He'll listen, he'll respond and yes, he'll even manipulate (for good and evil) with an ease many others struggle with. In short Faruk is a people person and in many ways the lynch-pin that binds this particular group of friends together.

We've only known that Faruk was even getting married for a week so I can't say I know too much about Fazila. Initial impressions are that she's an attractive and friendly girl; someone who complements Faruk both in personality and temperament as well as in the practical. Without making it sound too clinical it's clear that they both have the same idea about what a marriage is as well as what their respective roles are in achieving that.

But at the end of the day it's the fact that Faruk is getting married at all that is still the biggest shock to the system. After all: if Faruk can get married then pretty much anyone can.

Food: Zaika

A classy Indian right at the start of High Street Kensington, Zaika also made the perfect wedding venue for the 100 or so guests today.

Of course this probably means that this review is a bit invalid; the food was a fixed set menu so I can't really comment on the choice on offer. What we got was superb though with the various curries bursting with flavour and the side naans and rice of a similar high standard. It was all a bit heavy though - it was impossible for me to eat as much as I usually did and even hours later you can still feel it in your belly.

The service was top-notch and the decoration fabulous, although I get the feeling that the place has a somewhat muted vibe under normal circumstances.

All in all a very nice place to dine in - other than that I can't really comment on price or anything... But I guess that just means I'll have to go back one day in order to complete this review.

Muslim Weddings: A Dress Code

Now I would never call myself an expert at wedding planning. Yes, I seem to go to many, but then it's not like I've organised my own or anything. Sigh, moan etc.

There is one thing that I am clear about though, and that's what people should wear to Muslim weddings, particularly those here in the UK.

Muslims are quite lucky when it comes to weddings. Almost by religious dictation they're forced to have two discrete events: the wedding ceremony and on a later day (more often than not the day after), the valima. This natural splitting of the nuptials allows for various logistical practicalities; for example it's usually the girl's side who pays for and hosts the wedding, while the guy deals with the valima. Both groups therefore get to have their own party in the style (and with the cost) they find to be most appropriate.

Most Muslims in the UK have a "home" culture as well as their western one, and the two events also allows us to demonstrate that too, which is where my point about dress comes in. Due to the serene and religious nature of the wedding ceremony it makes sense to make this event more of a traditional affair where guests wear clothes which either demonstrate where they or the couple getting married come from. For most of us from the sub-continent, this means saris, shalwar kameez, sherwanis, lenghas... You get the picture. Men should NOT wear suits.

The valima on the other hand allows guests to show their other side. For men this now does indeed mean a suit; for women it's slightly trickier since not many tend to feel comfortable in dresses. Having said that saris still go with suits so it's less of an issue for them.

Why is this so important? Surely everyone should wear what they're comfortable in? Well put simply it's all about consistency. No matter how hot everyone looks individually, there's something really odd and off-putting about having a photo with some guys wearing suits while the others wear traditional - especially if they're wearing the opposite to what the groom is. But further than that it's also about vibe and appropriateness; trying to establish what particular facet of the marriage we're trying to celebrate. You're supposed to nick the groom's chappal, not his shoes.

Before you write me off as being a total nutcase it's worth mentioning that this has never been a problem at any of the non-Muslim Asian weddings I go to. Unless you're not brown (and therefore excused, but even then not really since you should have been briefed already) you would always - without question - wear traditional at the religious ceremony, and be sombre and muted while you're at it. On the other hand at the reception the men would then be in suits, with the women in dresses (or traditional if that's not an option) and there'll be dancing and music and the rest of it too.

I get that us Muslims are a reserved bunch and I'm not saying that valimas should have dancefloors, but the fact that we can't get something as simple as a dress code right disappoints me - but not as much as the fact that we don't even care about these things. Perhaps it's laziness or selfishness; personally I think it's just yet another indication of how we, as Muslims, uniquely manage to struggle with expressing and consolidating the various identities we own.

My rule of thumb guys? Wear traditional to the wedding and leave your suits for the valima.

Film: Couples Retreat

After what seems like laboured attempts at keeping up the film-going, you would have thought I would be a bit more discerning over what I'd watch at the cinema nowadays. Couples Retreat is hardly the best looking flick currently on offer, but seeing as it has both Kristen Bell and Kristin Davis I pretty much had no choice but to check it out.

Call it well deserved, but I did end up suffering for my shallowness. Despite a promising start (one worth watching for the brilliant Colin Baiocchi alone) the film ironically falls flat once all the respective couples land at Eden Resort.

Despite a couple of laughs (most of which are actually following on from previously funnier films by the some of the same crew) the acting is poor and the production and editing flimsy. Definitely one to miss, even if you are a big fan of Kristen and Kristin.