Monday, September 27

Supply And Demand

Today I found myself lost in the ranting of a few of female friends of mine. They were discussing how, basically, men were crap. Apparently we are all selfish, insensitive, clueless... I won't bore you with the details as this was all standard fare which I'm sure you've heard before.

I always find this kinda stuff amusing - explicit condemnation with the implicit commendation that goes with it, almost paradoxical in nature. The thing some people don't realise is that how a person acts is mainly due to how they are received.

For example take this guy at my workplace (whom I won't name, of course). Almost everyone thinks that he's an annoying plonker, yet the same people humour him, bitching only when he's not around to hear. He's getting the result that he wants, he has friends and is unaware of the true feeling he's generating. After all, he's not a mindreader. So tell me - why should this guy change?

Relate this to a guy and a girl in a relationship. Sure, the girl'll complain about what a loser the guy is (and mainly to others). But will she do anything about it? I'm not talking about asking him to change, although that's a start (although if she eventually did it'd prolly be directed to the wrong person - like a friend, a co-worker, or a random woman she met on the bus that morning). No, I'm talking about whether she would be willing to go look for something better, even if that means to remain single for a while.

In most cases, she isn't. She'd rather settle instead (which is where Spammy's Fourth comes into play) for what she has and tell everyone and their dog about it. Of course the guy knows this, and will subconsciously call her bluff each and every time. Tell me, if he's such a loser why would he change if he knows the girl is happy enough with him as he is? It's basic supply and demand - if women upped their standards a bit and only went for the type of guys they actually wanted, the guys would have to work that much harder to get them (although, yes, for a while you'd have to suffer the hell that is life as a singleton. But hey, sacrifice and all that).

This all reminds me of a comment my aunt (which some of you will know is much like a sister too) made a few weeks ago regarding my brother and father. She noted that they both doted on their wives to such an extent which she had only noticed in a few other relationships. The reasons she offered was that (in these cases) the guys a) didn't know any better since these were the only women they knew intimately, b) in my brother's case had my father as a role model, c) knew how lucky they were to have these women in their lives and thus d) knew they had to continuously work hard to both repay them and keep them hanging around. Or at least not complain about them in their blogs. And the ladies who do should take from that what they will.

This is all symmetrical of course - the effect can be shown to be present in both directions. It's a pretty dire situation actually since we end up with an ever downward spiralling of standards to which to aim for. However it seems that it's only the girls that'll complain about it. Perhaps men are more likely to accept what they have without having to tell everyone about it. Shrug.

Anyway, if you fancy a read drop me a mail and I'll link you to the blog and following discussion.

Humph.

13 comments:

  1. Where are you when you got something interesting to talk about shak?

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  2. Obviously, there will be a reply to this - on the appropriate blog.

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  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  4. Right - I am taking this to moaning hags.. spammy you will see a reply as soon as I get a chance to read your rules.

    By the way we were not ranting!!!

    And along with noting your weaknesses we did say you guys do have some good points.. although I think I will need to get a magnifying glass out to see them at times ;op

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  5. that actually makes sense...ive seen it happen a lot of times. i think its cos some people cant bear the thought of being single..cant speak for guys, but for some girls, i think its generally a comfort thing having someone - whether or not its someone youre really happy with...as wierd as it sounds.

    and although this isnt exactly what youre talking about, i dont really agree with asking someone to change or somehow getting them to change, that kinda says that you arent happy with who they are, and if thats the case, why be with them in the first place? hmm..

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  6. Quick reply to this before I go – “, but for some girls, i think its generally a comfort thing having someone - whether or not its someone youre really happy with...as wierd as it sounds.”

    I have never looked at that way and I am a female. Being with someone to me had to mean something or else there was no point. If I cannot be happy with myself then I can’t be happy with anyone else.

    I would not choose to be with a guy for the saje of it.. I can gain comfort from family & friends. What comfort could I gain from being in a unhappy relationship?

    Spammy yes I say guy’s have there faults but regardless of these faults I look for the goodness in the person. When you enter a relationship its not necessary that you will see all these faults, but just because a guy is not attentive enough etc.. does not mean I wil break away from the relationship.. yeah I would moan and whinge a little but I wouldn’t rubish the relationship away.

    Call it hypocritical if you may but your misunderstanding what we were saying on our blogg.

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  7. you do us proud, sanny. mwah.

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  9. These guys are so deluded

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  10. tell me about it. its like "take the easy route or what" kinda attitude. it stinks.

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  11. D'you know Spammy, your blog is soo s-l-o-w, a bit like you understanding of women.

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  12. YYYYAAAAWWWNNNN no offence to any of you.. but i couldn't even be arsed to read the 'moaning hags'! lol come onnnn girls! guys are not all like that (which i know most have you have said).. but well dont you think theyre given such a hard time? i mean theyre not mind readers ya know! how the heck are they supposed to know what women want from them?...and to think i cant wait to do "the psychology of love and attraction".. or maybe become a relationship counsellor... yawwnn think il give up now.. farr too boringggg.

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  13. omg

    It's now officially time for all of us to turn off our computers and step out into the wide wild world.

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